Three Kingdoms: My System Is Laughing Like Crazy

Travel through time and become a cowherd boy from the Three Kingdoms? When I opened my eyes, I ran into Taoyuan and became sworn friends! A crappy old system that doesn't publish tasks or sign in. It only gives random rewards after the protagonist does something ridiculous. The rewards are extremely outrageous: pistols, beauties, arsenal, tips, athlete's foot powder, wigs, aphrodisiacs... At the beginning, the protagonist held Zhang Fei's thigh and called him Third Brother, "I know how to kill pigs." The system laughed like crazy: Reward Pistol Da Qiao's marriage line! Warm wine and kill Hua Xiong? I gave him laxatives first. Three heroes fighting Lu Bu? I gave him five shots first - all empty! That night when Da Qiao and Chen Jiahao were together, the system scolded them all night, you idiot, why don't you do it, what nonsense! I am Chen Jiahao, the best villain in the Three Kingdoms, specializing in all kinds of dissatisfaction. All harems are accepted, all brothers are given away, sand sculpture performance artist Guan Yu wanted no one, saying "women affect the speed of drawing a sword." ... The system prompts that the four Taoyuan brothers are about to start a new mission! Old man, you fucked me again! This novel and its characters are purely fictitious. Any similarity is purely coincidental and should not be imitated.