Three Kingdoms: My System Is Laughing Its Head Off

Transmigrating as a cowherd boy in the Three Kingdoms? He opens his eyes to find the Oath of the Peach Garden taking place!

The System is a chatty old geezer. It gives no quests and has no sign-in feature, only randomly handing out rewards after the protagonist does something ridiculous.

The rewards are absurd: pistols, beauties, an armory, ingenious strategies, foot odor powder, wigs, aphrodisiacs...

From the start, the protagonist clings to Zhang Fei's leg and yells, "Third Brother, I can butcher pigs too!" The System laughs its head off: Reward: a pistol and a fated match with Da Qiao!

Wine-warmed Hua Xiong? I'll give him a laxative first. Three heroes battle Lu Bu? I'll shoot him five times first, and miss every shot!

On the night Da Qiao and Chen Jiahao spend together, the System curses him all night. "You idiot, just make your move already! Why are you running your mouth?"

I'm Chen Jiahao, the Three Kingdoms' number one idiot, and I specialize in dealing with anyone who refuses to accept defeat.

I'll take all the beauties, and send all the brothers packing. A true performance artist of the ridiculous.

Guan Yu wants none of them, saying, "Women slow down your sword-drawing speed."...

The System announces that the four brothers from the Peach Garden are about to embark on a new quest! You old geezer, you're messing with me again!

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real persons or events is purely coincidental. Please do not imitate.