My First Day of Cultivation: The Price Bureau Sealed My Martial Arts Studio

Cultivation meets laugh-out-loud comedy!

After three hundred years of grinding away as an overworked immortal in the Celestial Realm, Li Xuanzhen finally gets his chance to ascend, only to be misdirected by Heaven's navigation system into the most run-down temple in the human world, Qingyun Temple. Its incense value is zero, its merit value is minus three, and its merit box holds nothing but an IOU from five hundred years ago.

The Price Bureau comes after him for monopolizing overpriced incense. A message talisman tells him the Patriarch is offline, and even the spider spirit on his roof thinks he's too poor. To scrape together the fine, he turns himself into a gold ingot, only to have it identified as counterfeit. He asks the Thunder God to testify, but learns the man is at a team-building event with Zeus. His celestial crowdfunding campaign gets him nothing but monkey hair that can sing "The Lonely Warrior."

When he starts making incense money by drawing talismans for athlete's foot, the little girl who asks him for one really does come first in her exams. This tale of an immortal turned office drone begins with him raising money for the Patriarch's tomb maintenance fees, and will make you laugh until you cry, then warm your heart to the core.

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.