When You Need Something, Call Big Brother

Synopsis: Zhou Xiaofu just wants to stay alive!

A nobody from the slums, he's saddled with an ancestor who drains his lifespan every day: that damned Springwood Puppet in his sea of consciousness.

The good news: the puppet can "pass calamities on." Poisoned? Slashed? Coughing up blood from poison? Find someone you can't stand and redirect it to them!

The bad news: each time he passes a calamity on, he loses three days of his life!

And this ancestor has a sharp tongue, too! Treasure hunting in a demonic marsh? A place that can poison immortals?

The puppet: "At least you won't be the one dying. Remember, good people don't live long, but bad people live for a thousand years!"

Learn a cultivation technique and somehow a prince ends up poisoned?

Even practicing a dual cultivation technique can leave an enemy immortal maiden burning all over...

Warning! Host has 15 days of lifespan remaining. Are you going to kill yourself, or wait for me to do it? The puppet sneers as it suggests he take the fall.

Get lost, you rotten piece of wood! I'm going to become an immortal! Zhou Xiaofu declares, brimming with confidence!

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate anything depicted here.