Roommate Steals Chopsticks from Cafeteria to Treat Constipation

My roommate stole chopsticks from the cafeteria to treat constipation and returned them to the cafeteria after using them. I told her that not only would she get hemorrhoids, but she would also get bacterial infections in her intestines. There are also health risks to others. Not only did my roommate not change my behavior, he even took a pair of chopsticks stained with feces and put them in my drawer, crying to the whole school that I was the one who did it. I was besieged by angry schoolmates and fell down the stairs to my death on the spot! When I opened my eyes again, I went back to the day when I discovered that my roommate used chopsticks to cure constipation. This time, I turned on the school-wide live broadcast. This novel and its characters are purely fictitious. Any similarity is purely coincidental and should not be imitated.