Football: Stay Calm, My Team Is Full of Villains

At the Huaxia Football Awards Ceremony.

"I hereby announce that this year's award for the cleanest-playing team goes to the Qindao Mad Dragons!"

Shen Han strode proudly up to the podium. This trophy meant the world to him.

"I object! I suspect they gave me a deadly double kick, and that's why I lost the ball and we lost the match!"

"I object! Their striker bared his teeth at me. He was definitely trying to bite me!"

"I object! I made a bad call, and they blasted the ball into my head!"

Shen Han smiled.

If you knew what kind of players were on my team, you wouldn't say that.

"The Lion King" Kahn, "the Monk" Pepe, "Mr. Water" Ramos, "the Lawnmower" De Jong…

That's right, my team is full of bad guys.

If you foul us, please try to stay calm first.

To win this award,

I have to make sure "Suarez" gets some barbecue now and then,

or this guy might actually bite someone on the pitch.

I have to make sure "Pepe" video-calls his wife and kids every day,

or this guy might go berserk on the pitch at any moment.

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.