The Nine-Thousand-Year-Old of Detective Conan

After ruining countless Detective Conan fanfics, Yue Heng is banished by the Time and Space Administration to the world of Detective Conan, where he is granted the Nine-Thousand-Year-Old System as his golden finger.

"Ding! The three idiots of Teitan High have been castrated. You receive: 3 Bronze Chests."

"Ding! Yoko Okino has enrolled at the Kotoine Pavilion for further studies. You receive the song 'Meow Meow Meow.'"

"Ding! Conan has completed an assassination mission. Mission rewards: the 'Are' Are' Manual for Acting Cute, 1,000 gold coins, and 3 Minor Restoration Pills."

"Ding! Interrogate Misao Yamamura to obtain the important item, the X-Files."

Yue Heng: "What do you mean by Cao Zhengchun of the Eastern Depot, Yuhuatian of the Western Depot, and Luo Tianyi of the Embroidered Uniform Guard?"

Vodka: "Gin's a great big brother. It'll cost extra."

Vermouth: "My angel Ran has the makings of an empress."

Yukiko Kudo: "Eri Kisaki! The Eastern Depot needs talent like you."

Akemi Miyano: "I'll do what the Dragon Group doesn't dare to do. I'll kill those the Dragon Group doesn't dare to kill. I rule the world, and nothing is forbidden! That's the Western Depot."

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.