Funerals Across the Heavens: The Ruthless Great Emperor Weeps for You

If you're willing to pay me 999.9 billion, at your funeral,

I'll make a coffin for you from a coffin pulled by nine dragons, and a burial casket from an Immortal Tree!

I'll have Ye Fan, the Ruthless One, Emperor Wu Shi, and Chu Feng carry your coffin, then bury you in the eternal depths of space!

I'll burn incense for you with the Cauldron of the Mother Qi of All Things, and pour you a drink with the Heaven-Swallowing Demon Jar!

I'll make a wreath from an Immortal Elixir and place it before your grave!

I'll gather the thoughts of all living beings and have them chant a requiem for your passing!

I'll have the strange and sinister clans hold a gray sacrifice for you, refine all the heavens, and join you in death!

I'll have the Desolate Heavenly Emperor cleave through eternity with a single sword strike, flatten the river of time, destroy every path of reincarnation, and settle the great karmic debt, so no one can disturb your rest again.

Then I'll have a man named Li Qiye guard your grave, tend sheep every day, and look after the cemetery.

Place your order! Everyone who comes to pay their respects at your funeral will wonder if you had a mysterious and terrifying past.

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.