In the Three Kingdoms, Everyone's Chatting Across Servers, and I'm the Only One Desperate to Clock Out

"Sir, the Seven-Star Altar is ready. How should we summon the southeast wind tonight?" Zhuge Liang casts an irritated glance at a Taihu mitten crab frozen solid, then pulls out a [Three-Speed Turbo White Feather Fan] and a [High-Powered Diesel Blower]. "Why summon a wind? Let's just get the physics right. There are ribs waiting to go in the pot tonight, so the wind needs to blow back toward Cao Cao's camp!" The next day, Zhou Yu touches his receding hairline, trembling with awe. "Commanding the workings of heaven and earth... Wolong is a true immortal!" Transmigrating to the late Han dynasty, Zhuge Liang awakens the [Refuse to Die from Overwork System]. All he wants is to slack off on company time and coast to retirement, but everyone around him is a champion at reading too much into things. Corporate jargon meets the ancient statesmen's extraordinary powers of interpretation, and the Three Kingdoms takes a completely unexpected turn! Liu Bei: "The strategist eats hotpot on the battlefield to melt away the weapons of war with his benevolent heart! What righteousness!" Zhang Fei: "To drain the cauldron is to sneak into Cao Cao's camp and steal an iron pot to prop up the table!" Guan Yu: "General, don't panic. Eat first. We'll use the Green Dragon Crescent Blade to discuss compensation for the retreat." Cao Cao even sets up a special Office for Deciphering Wolong's Secret Words, treats "aligning the granularity" as a military tactic, and keeps falling for it. He marvels, "Only Kongming in all the world understands me!" Looking at the vast lands he somehow conquered, and the [Resignation Progress Bar] that refuses to move, Zhuge Liang falls silent. "I'm really not Wolong. I just want weekends off!!!"