Why did you kill me in one shot? That's not how Slay the Spire works. You should spend the whole run failing to find an Invincible Aura, with all your energy gains and card draw going to waste, and have to stall with Discovery and Disarm while you get your engine going at a snail's pace.
Then you should start the fight by eating my Vulnerable Heavy Blade spam, drawing only four cards a turn and ending up with a hand full of Slimed. And all your powers should get drawn with Heavy Blade, so you can't even play them. When you finally start building block, I'll mercilessly count your cards and show you don't have enough plays. Then I'll keep dragging things out without dying until I've saved up 12 Strength and start comboing, beating you to a pulp.
After that, you start a long, grueling cycle of save-scumming, only to find that every run ends with me beating you to a pulp. You give it everything you've got and can only get my health down to single digits, then I heal back to half and undo all your hard work. Finally, you die in agony while cursing me like an idiot.
How can you just charge in like a madman, bleed yourself dry, stack dozens of Strength in one turn, and chop me to pieces in a few hits? I refuse to accept this!
Meanwhile, looking at the Offering and Eagerly Awaiting in his hand, with six stacks of Rupture at his feet, Ye Qi stood there with a calm expression.
With a hand like this, what else is there to say? Bloodletting, burn cards, get the engine going. Just watch me tear you apart.
A crossover story with the mechanics of Slay the Spire.
