How Is This a Glintstone, System?

[You are the Elden Lord who commands the laws of night, the best big brother to Chaldea's little Masters, and a walking calamity on Terra... But, Host, I'm sorry to inform you that your application to join the "I Want to Be a Good Dad Association" has been rejected.] "What's going on, System? Do I really look like the kind of person who'd hand someone Frostmourne?" Nate proclaimed righteously as he kicked the newly forged demon sword aside.