Why? He asked himself.
"Simply because he couldn't bear to be ordinary. He longed for something extraordinary, for transcendence! Especially after coming to a world like this, where the supernatural existed and such wondrous fantasies were real! As the saying goes, 'I could have endured the darkness if I had never seen the light.'"
Why take such a risk? He questioned his own heart.
"I know what I'm like. I'm ordinary, not a genius. I have no chance of reaching the supernatural through wisdom while living an ordinary life."
"I know what I'm like. I'm ordinary, not lucky. The world is about to change at an astonishing pace, and the danger will be terrifying. I'm afraid. I'm scared I'll become just another unremarked statistic among the casualties. I have no confidence I'll be lucky enough to survive to the end."
"I want to see what's up there. Even if... even if I fall along the way, I still want to see it."
In his eyes, emotions churned beneath the surface: reluctance, excitement, fear, anticipation. They surged, sometimes impassioned, sometimes tragic, then finally settled into calm.
