The Big Fool of Lungmen

Before you stands the greatest daimyo of the Higashi, the founding director of Lungmen's tax bureau, the sole deity of the ten-billion-forest giant squid, the only devoted fan of Kiyochan, the strongest on land, the dream of a hundred thousand old men, the eternal scoundrel, the top name on Kal'tsit's kill list, the witness to Ch'en's embarrassing past, history's greatest! strongest! number-one general, Lord Oda Higashi Kiyonaga!

(To find out just how absurd this is, please come in and read it for yourself.)