Original title: Survival Starting with the Captain, but I Want to Sell Compressed Towels
See the book review section for the archive group.
Mao Jin wakes from cryosleep without even having time to put on his pants, and is promoted to chief executive officer of the First Gordo Fleet.
Forced to pilot the primitive First Dawn dimensional battleship, he peddles compressed towels to the various factions while doing his best to survive.
"What? A runaway automaton? Look, it's small and easy to carry. You can use it to wipe the feet, face, and mouth of your organic furnishings..."
"What? Hakurei Shrine? Look, you can wring it as hard as you like and it won't break. It doesn't shed hair or lint, and you can use it seven or eight times..."
"What? Azur Lane? Look, it's super absorbent. Put it in water and it'll grow bigger and taller, then suck the water dry and make the Sirens die of thirst..."
"What? Reunion Movement? Look, I only make one dime on each of these. Take her along when you go swimming or work out, and she'll be handy on business trips too..."
"What? Where can you buy them? The little yellow ship above. Buy fifty tons, get fifty tons free, with free shipping."
Warning: This novel contains outrageous plot twists, Fourth Calamity, Paradox game player morality, memetic contamination, uncivilized behavior, unconventional romantic and sexual interests...
Read at your own discretion.
