Actually, this is what North American history was like.
During the Age of Exploration, Columbus: Look, it's India! The American continent: Wrong way. Turn right when you leave.
During the American Revolutionary War, the Americans: Mom, nice house. It's mine now. The Queen of England: I'll beat you to death!
A few years later, the Queen of England: You brat, you've hit me twice now.
In the early nineteenth century, Napoleon became Europe's daddy once more. The Queen of England: Divorce!
Meanwhile, the Americans: Canada looks nice. I want it. Not long after, the Americans: Resist the invaders! Defend Washington!
During the American Civil War, the North: Mom, it's me. Send money. The Queen of England: No time, I'm dividing up the family estate!
The South: Dad, it's me. Send money... Huh? Where did Dad go?
During America's westward expansion, the Mexicans: Bro, our houses are about the same size. The Americans: No problem. I'll take half!
The Tsar: Want a refrigerator? The Americans: Bank transfer or check?
And then, Xiao Yu: Americans, give our land back! The Native Americans laughed.
