The Undying Black Snake Just Wants to Live a Quiet Life

I am the deathless Black Snake, living in Ursus, a young and promising immortal. I have neither the Catastrophes' immense power, nor the Demons' potent corruption, nor the Seaborn's limitless adaptability. I do have some strange memories, but surely nothing compared to those elders who've lived for millennia. My only dream is to live a quiet life and die of old age.

I adopted a silly child who loves to defy me and egg me on to find a way for us both to die. I made a pen pal who likes staying at home; she sends me landscape paintings, though I can't help feeling she's out of step with the times. I met a goofy hunter who asked if I wanted to return to the sea with her. I said no. The thing inside her makes me uncomfortable. I hate tentacles. I once sponsored a promising young entrepreneur who likes to personally work security for her own company. Weird, have short-lived species become this competitive nowadays?

I heard that a shady medical company has been hiring child and elderly laborers lately. If I catch them, they'll be in for a world of trouble. For some reason, my female avatars keep dying inexplicably, and the women I know give me a beating whenever they see me using one. I thought I had pretty good taste.

An immortal as kind to others as I am should be able to live to a ripe old age, right?