As an Earthling who's not a professional, but has skills even more professional than those of professional doctors,
I, Li Yi, want to say this to the Genshin Impact characters of Teyvat:
"Miss Keqing, you come to my shop eight times a week and get a five-hour massage each time. You're earning me a lot of points, but... massage isn't my only specialty!"
"Miss Ningguang, stop dreaming about me going to the Jade Chamber to give you private physical therapy. I'm a doctor, and I should be serving all of humanity!"
"Zhongli, I know your erosion has gotten worse, but that's no reason to come looking for me. Not even if you've switched to a mature... alternate body today."
"And you, Fei Tuo! Do I have iron hands or steel hands? You howl all day and demand massages from me. Shouldn't you take a look at what you look like first?"
"Raiden Ei, call me when you've set up a bedroll in the Plane of Euthymia. You expect me to treat you on the floor?"
"Kokomi... don't come and muddy the waters. You're a healer, so why are you looking for me?"
"Barbatos... Fine, so you actually want me to do something serious... Wait there, I'm coming right over."
