Gaia, the will of the world, discovered that King Arthur in one of her world's timelines had merged with the versions from other timelines.
So, to correct the timeline, she stole the mobile humanoid holy sword "Ea" from someone's treasury in the troubled timeline. But... the holy sword in this timeline has a screw loose.
Gaia: From now on, change your name to Excalibur and alter King Arthur's life. Correct the timeline...
Heavenly Principles: Got any spare dicks? Give me one.
Gaia: Uh... If you do a good job, maybe I can give you one.
Heavenly Principles: I want one now.
Gaia: You're a sword... Go fix...
Heavenly Principles: I don't care! I'm done being a holy sword! I want a dick! I want to be human!
Gaia: You ****
