Longmen Detective Officer Malphite

Malphite: "My name is Malphite. I'm 21 years old. I live near the Guard Department's officer villas in Lungmen. I'm unmarried, and I work for the Lungmen Guard Department. I have to work overtime until midnight every day before I can go home. I don't smoke, and I only drink in moderation. I never sleep; I spend eight hours a day processing paperwork. Before work, I always eat an Originium shard, then train in the DF double strike for 20 minutes. As soon as training is over, I go straight to work. I keep at it until dark and never leave tasks or cases for the next day. My coworkers all say I'm a blockhead."

Crownslayer: "Y-you... what are you talking about?"

Malphite: "I'm just saying that this rock has no great ambitions. I only hope to live a happy life, slacking off. 'Winning or losing' is the last thing I want to argue about with anyone, because all that does is bring me 'trouble' and 'enemies'... I'm a rock who knows how to be content, and that's my philosophy of rock life. If someone insists on picking a fight, I won't lose to anyone. In other words, if any 'trouble' or 'enemies' get in the way of my slacking off, before they can even open their mouths... they'll get this!"

[Pulls out the Infinity Edge]

What kind of sparks will fly when League of Legends' Malphite transmigrates to Terra?