The Johnson Retainer's Book

Anzio Tourist Guidelines (February 1944 Edition)

1. Follow orders and obey instructions.

2. Don't panic when you encounter an assault gun. Before a machine gun cuts you in half, fire your Bazooka!

3. If the enemy attacks with infantry and tanks and you don't have a Bazooka, call in artillery support!*

4. If the enemy has more infantry than we do, call in artillery!**

(Page references: 155 mm field guns and 203 mm naval guns.)

5. If the bombardment doesn't arrive as promised, calmly take a number and wait in line.

6. When you see any Italian tank**, use a .50-caliber machine gun for anti-tank duty**

(Appendix: Silhouettes for identifying various Axis tanks.)

7. Dress appropriately. (Illustration: Olive drab field uniform.)

8. Always stay ahead of the Sherman M1, so enemy infantry don't get a chance to use anti-tank weapons. (Illustration: A German soldier and his Panzerfaust.)

9. We Allies don't use wallhacks (crossed out).

10. The K5 is the strongest. Just wait to die (crossed out).