Ladies! Gentlemen! Students of the International Elementary School!
(Ahem, you soon-to-be exploited swine.)
Want to make money? Want to be in charge? Want to set out on the road to success as students?
(Or would you rather amount to nothing, have everything go wrong, and regret it for the rest of your lives?)
Follow me! I guarantee I'll make your wishes come true!
(Follow me, and I guarantee I'll ruin you... then count your coffin money and laugh like a madman.)
Now let's hear from the characters who got scammed:
Emiya Shirou: Don't you have a conscience?
Long Xiaotian: Not only does it not hurt, I'm loving it.
Kamijou Touma: I don't think you're worth saving. Mind if I beat you to death?
Long Xiaotian: No. Screw you. Next!
Mordred: Long Xiaotian, you are utterly
Long Xiaotian: Damn it, another Moon Cell inhabitant? Next!
Yukinoshita Yukino: You ba
Long Xiaotian: Who let that filthy bus onto the stage? Someone get her out of here!
Batman (throwing down a stack of cash): This kid's values are all wrong. He needs to be taught a lesson.
Long Xiaotian (crawling on the ground to pick up the money): Daddy! You're my real daddy! Whatever you say goes. Your will is everything to me. You're the sun, you're the light...
