Survival Rules of Sigwell:
1. You are not the protagonist.
2. A sword is more important than armor.
3. A shield is more important than a sword.
4. You can have sleep in your eyes, but keep your gear clean.
5. Monsters are terrifying. Pick a fight with them and you're in for serious trouble.
6. The protagonist is even more terrifying than monsters.
7. A stray arrow can kill you.
8. So can a righteous poisoned throwing knife.
9. If you can fight with three hundred people, don't settle for just two hundred and ninety-nine.
10. Give galloping warhorses the right of way.
11. Give galloping white-haired swordsmen even more right of way than warhorses.
12. Don't pee inside your helmet.
13. And don't use your helmet to collect drinking water, either.
14. Black armor gets hot in summer, but don't even think about frying an egg on it.
15. Dragons can't necessarily fly, but either way, it has nothing to do with you.
16. Knights' orders aren't necessarily all made up of gay men, though that doesn't mean they're all straight, either.
17. Don't dream of a cross-species romance, since there's usually a reproductive barrier.
18. Of course, before that, consider the difference in size. To some female creatures, you're basically a tiny toothpick from head to toe.
19. Don't curse the sky when it rains. Remember to oil your armor.
