Star Wars: Silver Oath

1. The protagonist seems to be humble, but every line reveals the usual arrogance and arrogance of the male protagonist in the Internet novel template. The humility is superficial and very superficial by the standards of a fourteen-year-old Jedi apprentice. In other official Star Wars works, even if it is classified into the category of young adult novels, it is a marginal supporting role, used to set off the real protagonist - generally speaking, a truly humble Jedi with potential. But now the protagonist lacks a soul and has a routine style and thinking. Even if this is not a Star Wars with rich materials, it will look passerby in a series of fairy tales. 2. It may be nitpicking, but the names Sean and Mostima are too common, and they don't have the feeling of Galaxy far far away. I hope the author can study the names of the six Star Wars movies and the origins and patterns behind them before starting to write names in the future. Don't treat them as ordinary Western fantasy writing. But even in original Western fantasy, various nouns have unique naming styles. I am not asking the author to write The Lord of the Rings, A Song of Ice and Fire, or other famous fantasy and science fiction works, but it is valuable as a reference. 3. As the official history of Star Wars, this book seems out of place in terms of tone and writing style. There are too many clichés in vulgar Internet articles. The central tone of the protagonist is unpleasant, and the supporting characters lack souls. The flattering people who are reduced to foils are pitiable. Internet writing works do not mean that they must follow Internet writing routines and cannot be novel and sincere. Good works can naturally impress people, unless the author does not care about the work as part of the Star Wars universe, but an original shell. I hope the author can learn about other official novels in the Star Wars universe. In addition to published books, many unpublished online translations can also provide a lot of style reference. 4. The story has not yet unfolded, and the characters appear flat and understandable. I hope that in the process of describing the characters in depth, the author can not be limited to the pattern and method of online articles and most second-rate novels, but write slowly and deeply, bringing the soul of the characters. Pretending is not Star Wars style, at least not such an obvious pretense. Pretending comes from character, not cleverness. It is understandable that the Jedi apprentice is naive, but too much makes it a bit annoying. If his master does not teach him a lesson, the reader will want to do it himself. If this is the author's intention, then pretend I didn't say it. 5. Jedi Master Mostema seems to be the best character at the moment because of her small role. I hope the author will not write her into a stereotyped character in the web novel paradigm. 6. Except for the inconsistency caused by the misuse of Internet language, fairy tale vocabulary, and too extravagant dialogue content, the background and plot problems of the story are not big. The proper nouns and background follow the settings of the Star Wars universe. I hope that the next adventure will not give the protagonist too many advantages, and victory will be easy. I would like to make a small suggestion. In the Star Wars universe, the more painful and tragic the character is, the more loved he is by the audience/readers. On my own behalf, I don't want to see the protagonist reach the peak of life after being happy. There is no peak in life in the Star Wars universe. The only peak you can see is to step back into the abyss of pain.

The author doesn't have much to say, so I'll keep it simple. 1. Although the author used half a chapter of words in just two chapters to make the protagonist pretend to be cool, but underneath the outer shell of Versailles, it is really ugly. First, I cursed in my heart that I knew all about the galaxy's high-end ingredients when I was six years old. But within a few thousand words, I saw a few aliens in the kitchen and I was surprised and exclaimed: Wow, what a rich race! Its exaggeration and style of knowing the next sentence just by reading the previous sentence are really hard to watch. First of all, the protagonist is proud of his identity as a native of Coruscant (he should not feel this way as a Jedi, but let's not express it for now), but at the same time, he is surprised when he sees aliens. This makes people wonder, has the author really watched the Star Wars movies seriously? As the capital city, what does Coruscant need without aliens? Even there are enough aliens in the Jedi Temple. In fact, even the characters with human appearance may not have the same home planet and race. Not only does the author not understand the Star Wars universe, he also has no literacy in science fiction. In an interstellar society, the phenomenon of multi-race is conceivable even if he does not understand Star Wars. Back to Star Wars, I hope the author can go back and watch Star Wars Episode 4, the first one in 1977. The protagonist, Luke Skywalker, grew up on the outer planet Tatooine. He is a farmer and a country bumpkin in modern terms, but when he saw aliens, he was not as ignorant as the protagonist. 2. What kind of life does a Jedi kid lead so that the protagonist has the time and energy to learn about high-end bank ingredients at the age of 6 and learn cooking in the next eight years? If he was really into cooking, then maybe he shouldn't be a Jedi but a cook. 3. The author's shortcomings in writing skills are already obvious. This method of first showing off and then surprising is already commonplace in online articles in 2010, and it must be said that there were many people who wrote plots in this way in 2010 and were better than the author. 4. The protagonist's human face is really disgusting. I am sincerely curious whether the author has watched any Star Wars movies. Every robot in them looks more like a Jedi apprentice than the protagonist.

Why do you feel so childish? ? ? I'm a girl who can't read StarCraft, but the writing style is so unflattering and boring that I can't appreciate it.

I'll give it a four-star wait and see. After all, this is the first time our country has published a Star Wars online article, and there are only three chapters so far. I'm not too familiar with Star Wars. I also read online articles. It seems that the protagonist looks a bit like the so-called Versailles. Let's just regard this kind of restrained showing off as immature... (Why does the diction style of the Internet article feel awkward when paired with Star Wars?) At present, it seems that the protagonist is still an apprentice, but what time is this book about? 233333 Based on the absence of clone troopers and the Republic Senate, it can be inferred that it was before the Clone Wars. If the protagonist is 17 years old, he may be of the same generation as the Highlanders. Maybe someone like Qui-Gon or even Dooku (laughs) The protagonist currently seems to have strong force power. I hope it won't be written in the future like a general fantasy where a Jedi master sweeps through thousands of troops with explosive power (although it probably won't). If you are of the same generation as Highlander, you might be able to meet the original characters, and pray that it won't be OOC or something like that. It's only three chapters anyway, so if there are any issues with the writing style, they can be corrected later.

In just 10,000 words, 11 grammatical errors will be caught for you. 11 Grammatical mistakes that even ordinary readers can spot. I won't say that there is no diamond, don't work on porcelain, the most basic grammar is not a very advanced skill. This should be the most basic literacy issue. Writing an article without even handling the grammar is equivalent to building a house without laying the foundation. Also, regarding Jedi, regarding characterization, I think there was a miscommunication between Lucasfilm and you. It is recommended to discuss this with the Disney team again.

Three chapters were read for 15 minutes, and this activity left me speechless. The writing is really not good, the story time is missing, there are a lot of grammatical errors, the name is too low, it always calls for Versailles, I really have no motivation to pursue it

Read the book well (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡! Where are there so many perfect people! It's not easy to use your brain, energy and energy to code words! Everyone has a hero who feels good about themselves, and the author's idea is not like Grandpa Mao. Everyone likes it. If you like it, just watch it. If you don't like it, just turn around!

I didn't expect that a new book would have such high-end advertisements, but the content was not that good.

One star per issue! Give it in installments! Come on, author! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

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