
Take the Path of Cultivating Immortality in the Universe Again
About This Novel
It's too hard to write, but if you can understand it, thank you!
What Readers Think
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Official(5)Scraped 21d ago
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I downloaded a software and roughly drew a map of this place.
Cheer yourself up
I will draw a rough map later, which should be more effective for you to see. I am downloading the software.
Come on
Come on, your baby shoes are always watching you, right?
The author's writing style needs to be improved on details.
For example, if you were laughed at by the waiter while eating, there is absolutely no need to write this paragraph. Also, in the part where the fat man is teasing people, wouldn't it be better to replace "pippippidian" with "rolling and crawling"? There are also various details. For example, the sentence "In a slum area of this planet, there is only one house, which makes it very unique." It is okay to read it separately, but there is a problem when it is connected together. Why is there only one house in the slum area? Why can it become a civilian area with only one house? There used to be many houses here, but then the government felt that it affected the city appearance and demolished it, leaving only the protagonist's house or something? Wouldn't it be better to write about the wilderness directly? I don't know if I didn't watch it later.
Rating
Community(0)
Official(5)Scraped 21d ago
notify
I downloaded a software and roughly drew a map of this place.
Cheer yourself up
I will draw a rough map later, which should be more effective for you to see. I am downloading the software.
Come on
Come on, your baby shoes are always watching you, right?
The author's writing style needs to be improved on details.
For example, if you were laughed at by the waiter while eating, there is absolutely no need to write this paragraph. Also, in the part where the fat man is teasing people, wouldn't it be better to replace "pippippidian" with "rolling and crawling"? There are also various details. For example, the sentence "In a slum area of this planet, there is only one house, which makes it very unique." It is okay to read it separately, but there is a problem when it is connected together. Why is there only one house in the slum area? Why can it become a civilian area with only one house? There used to be many houses here, but then the government felt that it affected the city appearance and demolished it, leaving only the protagonist's house or something? Wouldn't it be better to write about the wilderness directly? I don't know if I didn't watch it later.










