The Rise of the Great Han in Troubled Times

I went shopping with my brother's wife at noon today. She took a fancy to a leather jacket priced at 1,799 yuan and called her husband to tell her that she wanted to buy it. Her husband said very gently: "My dear, just buy it if you like it, as long as it makes you happy." Then her husband asked very gently who she was with, and when he heard it was me who wanted to say hello. This woman gave me her phone number. I just said hello, I heard my brother's trembling voice say: "Sister, help me find a way to stop that woman."

My wife took out two facial masks stuck together, one blue and one white. She took off the blue one and handed it to me. Two thoughts flashed through me in one hundredth of a second: What kind of facial mask is man A wearing? You can give it a try! Question: Posted for me? Wife: Throw it in the trash can. This is skin.

Well enough,,,,,,,

Ziwei made a fraudulent donation, Xiaoyanzi cashed out illegally, and Jinsuo evaded taxes. Only Aunt Rong and the Queen are both good at virtue and art. It turns out that we all wrongly blamed the good guys back then. The ones that Aunt Rong punished were all bad guys, while the ones the Queen dealt with were all scum.

When I went to the bank to withdraw money in the afternoon, a man suddenly came in at the door, his face covered with a black cloth, and said: "Don't move, it's robbery!" I was shocked at the time. I had just withdrawn 20,000 yuan and the counter hadn't even left yet. He quickly said to the bank clerk: "I deposit 20,000!" The clerk shook his head like a rattle: "Please go and call another number!"

I went to my grandpa's house to play on the weekend. Grandpa said: Go catch a duck and kill it. I'll reward you for your hard work at noon. I killed the duck in three strokes, five divided by two, plucked out all the fur, and brought it to my grandpa ready to claim credit and reward. Grandpa asked: It didn't scream when you killed it! I said: Called twice! Grandpa asked: Do you know what it is called! I said: I don't know Grandpa said: Its name is, I am a goose, I am a goose...

When I was a child, my cousin suddenly came to me with a bruised nose and face: Don't run out all the time in the future. You must stay at home and study hard, okay? I refused to accept it: You run out every day, and you still have the nerve to criticize me? My cousin touched the swollen Lao Gao's cheek and said: Yesterday afternoon your dad went to the Internet cafe to look for you, but he caught me and I was beaten by my dad.

My daughter had just entered college, and her family sent her 1,200 yuan every month. A month later, the father went to the bank to deposit money into his daughter's card. He called first and asked: "Is 1,200 yuan enough?" The daughter replied: "Enough." The father was relieved and told her: "Buy whatever you want, don't lose yourself." After hearing this, the daughter remained silent for a long time. The father felt strange and asked: "What's wrong?" The daughter hesitated and said, "Dad, I don't know whether I should say it or not." The father said, "If you have anything to say, tell me quickly. Dad will help you analyze and make suggestions." The daughter said, "My friend is like me, and her family also gives me 1,200 yuan a month, but her quality of life is higher than mine. She has snacks every day, goes to McDonald's once a week, and sometimes goes to Pizza Hut." The father calculated that in this case, 1,200 yuan is not enough at all. "Did she go to work? Don't delay your studies." My father said hurriedly. "No, she didn't go to work, she was in love. One time she came back from a date and told me that actually she didn't like the boy, she just liked him to pay for her. There were a few girls in our class who were the same. They also laughed at me and said I was stupid. It's a pity that I have such a face. If they have a face as beautiful as mine that can attract boys, they don't have to ask for money from their families at all. They will find long-term meal tickets who are willing to pay for them..." My father was stunned. I put down the phone and without wasting a minute, I deposited 1,500 yuan on my daughter's card and sent home an email. He wrote on the letter: Dear daughter, starting from this month, I will give you 1,500 yuan in living expenses per month. With the extra 300 yuan, you can buy snacks, go to McDonald's, Pizza Hut... Remember, you must pay with your own money at any time, this is a quality life. Also, if you like a boy and start a relationship, please tell me. I will add another 200 yuan to you every month as love funds. Please remember that every time you go on a date, don't forget to bring your wallet. It's easy to take someone else's hand and eat someone else's mouth. Dad is also a man, and I understand men best. Men love women who are independent, self-loving, and dignified. The daughter was so moved that she never expected her father to express such a philosophy of life. Dad paused and said: My netizens have taught me so much! The daughter took advantage of the situation and asked: In which forum does dad study? Dad showed a happy smile on his face and said: It's **reading! There are real men in there!

I used to work in a small company, with only about 10 people, but the atmosphere was very harmonious. The boss and employees were like friends, and they often went out for dinners and so on. Once, because the company was short of funds, the boss sadly told everyone that he was breaking up. As a result, the cleaning lady quit, saying that this was the place where she was happiest. Then, she decisively called her son and bought the company!

Someone asked me why I smoke? I thought about it for a long time because of the doctor. I didn't know how to smoke when I first went to college. One day my throat hurt so much that I went to the hospital for a check-up. After the doctor checked me, he told me that there was nothing wrong with me and that you just need to smoke less. So I walked out of the hospital and went to the supermarket to buy my first pack of cigarettes...