Elf: Encounter the Star of Victory at the Beginning

I have a day off tomorrow and have some time to think quietly. It seems I haven't written a book review for a while. The sentences in the new book are much smoother, strange and complicated sentences have almost disappeared, and typos are less visible to the naked eye😘. Compared with the previous book, this is a big improvement! I am no longer distracted by these and can see the others that are obscured. We are quite familiar with each other, so we can skip the bells and whistles! ~ Let's get to the point-- It is highly similar to a certain type of fan content that is gradually increasing (it does not mean plagiarism, but the content style is the same), the cumbersome and monotonous modifiers, the descriptions of expressions, movements, and details that seem smart but are actually dull and confusing. There is no clear main line or goal in the thirty chapters, and there is a sense of dissociation and lack of smoothness. I guess AI polishing was used and there was no active revision, so there is obviously too much useless content. (I have played Doubao's AI agent conversations, and some of the agents' responses to me were very fluffy, with empty concepts, and the expressions of text-assisted expressions were boring) I am not completely opposed to the help of AI, I just hope it can be used in the right place😀. 1. A conversation divided equally🤨 Personally, I feel that the amount of dialogue increases as the number of people present increases. The actual dialogue should serve the plot. Say more when it is necessary to say more, and appear less when it is not necessary. This can quickly establish the image of typical characters, rather than evenly dividing the plot of all the characters present. This leads to a natural result-no one has outstanding characteristics. Based on my experience in watching fan fiction, 50 points of energy are usually allocated to the protagonist (not absolute, 0 to 100 is fine), 40 to 45 points of energy are allocated to the supporting character(s) who are most suitable for the current plot and needed most, and the remaining 5 to 10 points are allocated to the rest of the story elements as needed. (Energy refers to the degree of care, the degree of analysis of the contradictions between the character's internal and external choices, and the degree of conflict resolution - this is how I understand it. The reaction is the most real in emergency situations where there is no return, so the character image can only be fleshed out in one incident after another. The boring "daily life" of mechanical repetition cannot let readers understand the characters.) What best reflects this is that the Rotom illustrated book appears in Chapter 22 of this game, and Rotom officially enters the plot in Chapter 23. The presence of this "character" who "always lives in the same space as the protagonist" can be felt more and more clearly - the Rotom Pokédex can speak human language and can communicate, which is completely different from Pokémon that usually cannot directly talk to humans. So I thought it could be directly equated to the "people" in the novel, and I had a hunch that it would have a significant presence in the future - I saw Chapter 26, and it was exactly the case. Unfortunately, this is not a good start. Originally, before Chapter 22, the characters around the protagonist were not fixed, so this flaw was not obvious. But the Rotom illustrated book appeared... It fixed part of the text in a chapter, but it seemed to only provide some inexplicable interactions. I think I can understand what you mean, the author, trying to make readers understand that the Rotom in the illustrated book is a cute child who is lively, afraid of ghosts, and strong, but the way is not quite right. New in 5.6☺: As you continue reading, you can obviously find that the author has spent a lot of ink on character dialogue and interaction, but most of them are ineffective. Translated into real language, that is - Good morning! Morning! Have you got a meal yet? Eat, what about you? The weather is so nice today! Just like me chatting randomly with the Doubao AI agent, there is not much meaningful content. They seriously drag down the reader's reading experience. For example, the unexpected incident at the end of Chapter 33, "The Strange Gyarados Breaks In," is still the same incident in Chapters 34-35, and is not resolved until the middle of Chapter 36. (System font size 20, large line spacing, Chapter 36 has 11 pages, and the solution is on page 5) Briefly describe the Gyarados incident in about 3 chapters😃: Vladali introduced the wetland base to the protagonist and other visitors at the center of the base. The alarm sounded, and a staff member rushed in and reported that "the intruder's crazy Gyarados is causing damage." The protagonist's fanged land shark prepared to fight, but Fradali stopped the protagonist and said that he would personally come forward. Lionhead opened the password box and took out the stun gun, and everyone headed to Gyarados' location. Seeing the Croat Frog being knocked away by the Gyarados and hitting the Rotom Picture Book, I judged that the Gyarados had no trainer. The Fire Lion, who has no flight ability, fights the Gyarados that can fly in the water, and the Lion Head throws a Poké Ball to conquer the Gyarados. Lionhead himself goes to deal with the aftermath of Gyarados' intrusion and destruction, saying goodbye to the protagonist and other visitors. 🧐The appearance of noisy wild Gyarados in Vladali's wetland ecological base is similar to the appearance of terrorists in the real-life breeding base for endangered animals and plants (for example, of course it is only similar, because wild Gyarados cannot be treated like terrorists) - after reporting, the armed forces quickly control the dangerous targets, who would talk nonsense. When such an emergency situation occurs and is handled, there will be no opportunity for everyone present to slowly complete various conversations that may seem urgent but are actually overly rambling - this is not the time to chat! At this time, I repeatedly explain in detail the state of each character's preparation for action... It is difficult to comment. Those who don't know may think that they are describing a still life painting in words, or looking at a lifelike snapshot. These descriptions do not advance the plot in any way and only make the reader's attention captured by fancy descriptions. This sudden incident does nothing at all to do what it is supposed to do-use conflict and rapid pacing to grab the reader's attention. 🙁 Analogy to a fire drill. Even if it is a fire drill organized during school, at least it should be so that people will not lose the sense of "urgency" in an "emergency". When something happens in an instant, don't use the power of words to blur the concept of time and force interaction. The reader's experience will be worse, and it won't be the reader who always suffers. 2. What do you want the protagonist to do? If you compare it with other Pokémon texts that have Rotom's Pokédex, you'll realize something is wrong. The goal or main line, what exactly is what the protagonist wants to do? The aimless protagonist brings an uncertain plot. Another reader in the book review area asked a confused question - "I have read more than 20 chapters and can't figure out what it is about?" "Can you give me a rough idea of what these 20 chapters are about?" This is not the reader's feeling that "the plot could be slower, it feels a bit too fast." When the protagonist and the author behind it have no clear goals and no willingness to act, the plot speed will be non-existent at 90°. 3. "Everyday" articles in online articles🧐 --What about daily writing? No goals? Open a shop/farm/ranch... No, don't be led astray by the "everyday articles" in online articles. Is there any misunderstanding about "daily life"? Think about what our ordinary lives are like. Working every day, repeating almost fixed actions, day after day, year after year, taking holidays and taking a "nice long vacation" to go out and play for two days, and then come back exhausted and continue working. There won't always be thrilling events that deserve too many people's attention and remembrance. It's not special. Acknowledging and accepting an ordinary life, and making yourself feel happy and happy to the extent that you believe you can do it, this is the "daily life" of ordinary people. The "daily" nature of online writing is the "non-daily" nature - successful ones (emphasis: successful daily writing, not half-baked) have transformed some apparently rough and pretentious elementary technologies into advanced technologies that are hidden and pretentious. (Personally understood synonyms: cool, but I personally don't tend to use these default terms in the Internet literary circle) Let readers be willing to ignore the basis of "extraordinary daily life", immerse themselves in the "everyday", quiet and leisurely atmosphere, and happily embrace the life they expect. Because online articles need to satisfy fantasies-both the author's and the reader's. (😗Desire for Survival: I don't mean to attack the fantasy function of online literature. I just explain my partial understanding of the birth and popularity of online literature. My purpose of reading fan fiction is also to "satisfy personal fantasies" - I want to read stories other than the original works) Even "daily writing" in online writing is no exception. The protagonist of an ordinary novel seems to have no goal, but the author needs a goal that can be ignored and valued by readers, and he is convinced that he and the protagonist are always moving towards the goal. Hidden in the plot, the unpredictable daily life uses invisible hands to push the protagonist (be careful not to make sensitive readers feel deliberate), and finally achieves a natural goal. Engage the reader with a looming goal so that the reader doesn't run away (?) Because they can't understand what the author wrote (?). The third point above is just my experience as a reader. I have no experience of being a serious author in conceiving a complete story. Maybe it's a bit abstract, Even the word "daily" in the online article is shining. It limits the "daily" of the "protagonist". Although the meaning is the same, the content it represents is completely different. Happy fantasy, happy reading. Occasionally, I wonder what will be at the end of the boundless fantasy. Note: Drafted in the early morning of May 1, 2025, and revised during the day on May 1. As of May 1, I have read 26 chapters before writing a book review. The third point was added in 5.5, The second half of the first point was added in 5.6, 41 Chapters have been read, the word count in 5.6 Exceeded the cut twice, and the revision and deletion in 5.9 Was completed. Screenshot from Chapter 34, comment area

Character: Regulus Bratano Height: August 8 Gender: Male Height: 182cm Weight:? Pokémon (currently): Grigory, Sharptooth, Victini, Mimikyu, Reshiram (sleeping) Introduction: The adopted son of Dr. Buratano from the Carlos region has some extraordinary qualities. In his recent dreams, Regulus always seems to dream of that golden jigsaw puzzle-like creature...

Author, I think the plot can be slower. I feel it's a bit too fast. I've read more than 20 chapters and I can't figure out what it's about. Can you give me a rough idea of ​​what it's about in more than 20 chapters?