Rebellion

As a first book, it is already very well written. It only describes the cruelty of the army in the Grand View War. It does not describe the horror of war, and it does not even describe how many people died after a big war.

I am also a street fighter, so what I say may not be correct. If you have time, go read my book and give me some pointers.

After reading three chapters, I can give you some suggestions, which are just my own opinions. My brother's writing style is indeed good, but he is not a master after all, so the writing was too complicated at first, which made people tired to read. No one has the patience to read such complicated things, especially a newcomer. After reading the first chapter, I felt that I understood too little. All I know is that a person is in a miserable place, and then a bunch of inexplicable people discover a memory. This is all the content of the first chapter. It's such a waste. A friend once told me that every word in the first chapter is crucial. Delete it if you can. It's best to tell the reader what story you want to write in one chapter. In my opinion, those beautiful and powerful words are unnecessary. There was a big scene in the second chapter, with a bunch of powerful people, and even the protagonist didn't appear... To you, everyone is very familiar, but to us, we feel that there are so many strangers, strange places, and strange events, and there is a lack of sense of involvement. It's just my personal opinion. It's hard work for newbies. It's not easy. Come on↖(^ω^)↗

Why add the word "big"?

What luck am I having? I was asked for leave as soon as I arrived!

The writing is getting more and more exciting. I look forward to the follow-up. The protagonist is awesome and will kill everyone.

Visited again, it's still wonderful. I have saved it and hope that the great master will visit and learn from each other. . ?

The writing is so beautiful, but the updates are so slow. What a badass author.

I would like to take advantage of this precious place to advertise my new book. Thank you. I am a newbie. I hope that I can use the author's great light to support "Dragon Soul Returning to the City". Thank you. Please add it to your collection and recommend it -=