Mountain and Sea Martial Arts

A strong smell of snow, I hope it has something more of your own. Wish you a great sale!

First of all, please change your avatar, I suggest you change it. Will scare off female fans. The introduction is very suspenseful, but reveals too little, so why not be a hero? There's no need to reveal too much, just show one or two traits of the protagonist. For example, if you want to pick up girls, or if you don't want to be a hypocrite, it's more fun. But it must be brief, but it can show the characteristics of the book. It is best to put the book club group in the comment area, where it will break the artistic conception created by the readers with great difficulty. It is recommended not to use this preface and go directly to the topic. Mainly because this sequence is a bit problematic. The first sentence is okay, time, debut race. The second sentence is strange. The presence of human masters is a state and a duration. How can it last five years? What about the anchor point of time? Just like you can't say that human history has a long history, five years have passed... This? ? ? . Five years is a specific time, and its anchor must be a specific time or event. Vague + specific or vague. These minor flaws aside, you're wasting a huge opportunity to put the reader directly into the character. Breaking the chapter is to break the train of thought. You will break the reader's train of thought before you show your appeal! 666 For you. I won't mention the typos in the first chapter... Then let's talk about common sense, tea is too full to deceive customers! Don't pour the tea full. There is nothing wrong with the narration, the plot arrangement is reasonable and compact, and the language is humorous and attractive. The shortcomings are also obvious. There is no scene description and no psychological description, which will make the characters lack a three-dimensional sense, just like the rendering of the moonlight on the lotus pond in a painting that only depicts characters and actions but no background. Overall, it is pretty good and has a certain appeal. It is recommended that some scene descriptions and psychological activities be introduced appropriately. Just increase it slightly, no need to describe it in large quantities. Write slowly and give the reader some time to dwell on the event, so that the reader will be more impressed by your description. Especially the climax scene.

When I see your big brother, am I friendly or not? Come and get me 10 yuan worth of Longjing to wash my hands.

I just like the style of Ba Liangda

Can't you kill people first and then laugh at them?

Couldn't they see the shining protagonist ring above Xian'er's head?

The carpenter appears! I have the world! If you enjoy reading it, you can leave a message or join the book club, and I can design your own character for you~~~ Welcome everyone!

Please read and collect, cheers for you

I don't know if you know about the honey badger. If you don't, you can check it out online. This is the animal that I admire the most. It is known as the "Flat-headed Brother" in the world, so I decided to use it as the protagonist's pet in this book~

The second chapter has been released. Friends who like it can click to save it and leave a comment. We can discuss it together~