Endless Demonic Flame

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1. I gave up my seat to an old woman on the bus today. After sitting down, this old woman said: Young people nowadays are not very good-looking, but they are quite kind-hearted! WTF... Trough... 2. A woman has been single because of her small breasts. One day during a blind date, the woman told her partner the truth and asked: Is it as big as a steamed bun? The woman answered: Yes. Then they started dating. On the wedding night, the man rushed out of the new house and shouted to the sky: "Wangzi little steamed buns!" 3. A five-year-old sister and a four-year-old brother were taking a bath together. When the sister saw her brother's vagina, she wanted to play with it. The brother said angrily: You threw away your own and want to play with mine again. No way! 4. Male: Do you girls watch porn? Woman: Don't look. Man: Do you think it's obscene or are you just not interested? Woman: None, I just can't find it. 5. Every time I bought a Coke and put it in the dormitory to go to the bathroom, it was all drunk when I came back. The three roommates didn't know who drank it and they got angry. So I went to buy some Viagra pills and put them in Coke this morning and went to the toilet. . . Now I lie in bed and shed tears of regret. The three of them are not human beings. . .

1. Everyone was chatting in the office, and the goddess suddenly screamed: Ouch, I swallowed the chewing gum! A colleague quickly said: Don't worry, if you can't digest it, it will still be your Yida if you pull it out. Then the goddess vomited, along with the chewing gum... 2. My mother suddenly called me and said: There is a pair of gray stockings at home. Are they yours? I said: Yes, I bought two pairs a few days ago and forgot one pair at home. Mom said: It's good to be right, otherwise your dad won't survive tonight! 3. I was waiting for the bus with my husband in the morning. I felt a little cold, so I tugged on his clothes: "I'm a little cold, so put your hand on your creaking hole." This guy said seriously: I have a wife, you go find someone else! I wipe it! Everyone looked at me with contempt...

1. Friends ask me what my research direction is, and I say that I study wetlands. Every time this answer makes the role of senior sister look very wretched. When the other party asks in detail what is the specific research of junior brother? I can only answer truthfully about studying wetland birds. 2. A friend sells fruit. He said that he has not made any money after selling for more than ten years, but he has been unwilling to change his career. The reason is: the tables in my fruit stall are very low, and the large number of beautiful women lowering their heads to pick fruits every day is the motivation for me to persist! 3. The family is having a lively fight. The police heard the noise and ran over and knocked on the door. The door was opened by an angry woman. Police: Madam, who is the head of your household? The woman shouted: I will tell you later, I am deciding this matter with my husband! 4. My daughter, who was over three years old, had not been to kindergarten for many days due to illness. She proposed that she must go to kindergarten tomorrow. The reason she gave made me laugh: If she is too old to go to school, how will she educate her own children in the future? 5. One day, my brother asked my aunt: Mom, how did I get here? The aunt said casually: I picked it up. Then my brother said extremely depressed: Oh, why are you willing to throw away such a good child? 6. One day in class, the teacher asked Xiao Ming a question: Xiao Ming, what do you think 123 plus 22 equals? Xiao Ming said nothing. When the teacher saw that Xiao Ming was silent, he was furious: Why don't you speak? At least give it a squeak! When Xiao Ming heard it, he immediately said: "Squeak!"

1. Ask a man and a woman: If after death you saw Po Meng at Naihe Bridge and gave you Po Meng soup, what would you say? Girlfriend: Don't let me forget my loved ones, okay? Boyfriend: No coriander or chopped green onion, thank you! 2. A girl saw a boy sleeping in class and sent a text message to her boyfriend: The boy next to me slept like a dead pig and drooled all over the place. How funny! As a result, the network was not good and her boyfriend received this text message in the middle of the night... 3. Girlfriend: Look at you, you are young but you have a lot of wrinkles! Boyfriend: No? Girlfriend: Why not? Don't you feel like you are tightening a screw every time you wear a hat? 4. In the morning, my son cried and told me and my wife that he dreamed that his grandma was dead. I said it didn't matter, the dreams were all reversed. If he dreamed that his grandma was dead, it might be grandma who died. Now I feel the three blood marks on my face and want to cry without tears. . 5. Last night I went to my boyfriend's house to meet her parents for the first time. The food her mother cooked was delicious. When I finished one bowl of rice and was about to get up to put another bowl in, his mother held me down and said, "It's okay, just leave the bowl and I'll wash it together later." 6. I drank too much last night. My wife was not at home, so I asked my daughter to pour me a glass of sugar water to relieve my hangover. My daughter asked: Can any kind of candy be used? I said yes. A few minutes later, I saw my daughter tremblingly bringing a glass of water with a few pieces of chewing gum floating on it.

1. Last night, my friends invited me to a KTV. Everyone called a girl. The one sitting next to me was quite pretty. During the process, she touched my hand and played with it. We sang a few songs together. At the end, she put her face next to mine and said: Brother! It's not easy to make some money. Don't come to this kind of place in the future. Look at the calluses on your hands. Save some money for your sister-in-law and children. 2. I took the money to pay the rent today. The landlord was playing mahjong. Three of them were short of one. Before I could say anything, the landlord said: Come on, play two games. It was hard to refuse, so I just played. After losing almost all the money, the landlord said: You are here to pay the rent, right? I was stunned for a while and said: Oh, I'll get you some money. 3. I was waiting for the bus at the bus stop and accidentally missed it, so I quickly chased after him. Seeing that the driver was not ready to stop, I simply stopped and stopped chasing. Unexpectedly, the driver suddenly stopped and opened the door again, so I quickly chased after him. After running two steps, the car closed and started again. After going back and forth 4 times, I finally got on the bus! The driver suddenly laughed at me: Brother, it's so early in the morning, you are so cheerful, and you even played 123 wooden figures with me! 4. A buddy called 10086 customer service and asked: What should I do if my phone card is lost? &Rdquo; The customer service said: Bring the relevant ID to the business hall to apply for a new card. This guy said: Can't I pick it up? After a while, the customer service said: For your safety, we do not recommend that you bend down to pick up the card, as the water in your mind will easily spill out. 5. Looking at my wife sleeping soundly, I wanted to tease her based on my experience of joking. I stood up suddenly and said: Your husband is back. My wife quickly pushed me into the cabinet. This silly wife made me laugh so much. Let me laugh for a while. 6. It was a bit cloudy last night, so I went on a date with my girlfriend under the bridge! While you were chatting with me, it suddenly started raining! I said to the girl: How romantic it is in the rain! My girlfriend said: Romance is romance, don't you think this rain is a bit **? I immediately looked up and saw a man peeing under the bridge, and there were two guys next to him who had just opened their zippers and were about to take out his pants. 7. There is a girl in the class who is very thick-skinned and narcissistic, but she dare not compliment her on her looks. One day during self-study class, she suddenly said to her deskmate (male): Only those boys who own cars and houses are worthy of me. All the girls in the class looked at her with admiration. Her deskmate said without even raising her head: I will sell my car and house when I get home. All the boys in the class worshiped! 8. There is a new male colleague in the company. He seems to be an honest person at first glance. When he introduced himself, he was obviously very nervous! The male colleague introduced himself: Da, Da, hello everyone, I, my surname is Gou, and I am naked Gou. As soon as he finished speaking, the whole company burst into laughter!

Man: Let's break up. We can't survive this life. Woman: Why? Am I not doing well enough? Man: No one likes a dry well in the desert Woman: The well needs to be dug deep enough to cause infertility.

Today when I was running in the morning, I met a beautiful woman with big breasts. I asked with a smile: Beauty, your breasts jiggle when you run, don't you feel uncomfortable? The beautiful woman rolled her eyes at me: Isn't it comfortable for you men to swing around? I was silent, lowered my head and ran a few steps. Hey, I wish I could get rid of him.

The priest told the little nun that his penis was the key to heaven. He asked the little nun to pinch him all night. The little nun was very happy and went back to the old nun and said She has touched the key to heaven, When the old nun heard the little nun's description of Father JJ, He said angrily: Damn it! He told his mother that it was the trumpet from heaven. He asked me to blow him for forty years!

When I was in college, I made an appointment with a goddess to sing in karaoke. After the karaoke, it was already early in the morning, and the goddess drank too much. Being as smart as me means just getting a room! So I found a hotel in an alley. When I was sleeping with my goddess in my arms, I secretly unbuttoned her clothes, exposed her snow-white bra, and looked at her charming breasts. At this time, the goddess moved a little. Seeing that the situation was not good, I immediately helped her get dressed. After going back and forth several times, it was dawn. It seemed that I had made a profit today, hahaha.