The Galactic Overlord’s Beast-Raising Manual

Plain version: He picks up an adorable little alien, only to discover she's the former ruler of the galaxy. The protagonist's life becomes one long mission to feed the galaxy's most powerful pet.

Literary version: That day, the young man set out on a journey toward the stars and the sea.

Dumb version: "Noah, don't bite me! I'm not edible!" Lin Youde said.