The Princess Consort Is Telling Fortunes Again

First: The fourth young lady of the Jiang family has returned to the capital from the countryside and offended the powerful Regent. Her life is probably over.

Who could have expected things to turn out like this?

Jiang Nai: "My lord, I cast a divination for you. If you leave before the Chen hour today, there's a 99 percent chance you'll be struck by lightning."

The Regent: ... "How can I avert it?"

Jiang Nai: "Buy a divine artifact at my Yin-Yang Studio. It'll keep you out of harm's way."

The bodyguard: ... "Isn't that just a pot lid? I think you've been swindled again, my lord."

My graceful bearing cannot be kept down by a mere pot lid! Watch and see how I wear one on my head and stay cool as a cucumber.

Second: The fourth young lady can't read a single character and knows nothing about literature. Anything she writes is probably complete nonsense.

The head of the academy in the capital: "The fourth young lady knows everything from astronomy to geography. She has made particularly deep studies of the history and culture of the ancient Jiang Kingdom and made a tremendous contribution to scholarship."

The crowd: "Are we sure that's the same person? That headmaster must be a paid shill!"

Third: The fourth young lady brings misfortune to her mother, brothers, uncle, aunt, and sisters. She should be sent to a convent for a few years to learn some humility.

Her uncle, aunt, and sisters: *Sobbing.* "Please stop spreading rumors. Our lives are hard enough. Every time you spread one, we all end up in trouble."

Years later, Jiang Nai strolls through the streets with a little version of the Regent.

Her son asks curiously, "Mother, why is there still a betting pool about how you'll last no more than thirty days in Father's hands?"

Jiang Nai looks guilty. "It all started with a painting of a mountain retreat."

"When I was young and foolish, I trapped your father in a painting and nearly starved him to death..."

Her son: ... "What were you thinking?"

Jiang Nai: "I just thought he looked pitiful. He'd gotten so thin from hunger..."