My name is Wang Jianguo, I am 45 years old, and I was "optimized" by a real estate company on my birthday.
HR said that I had "solidified thinking and lack of innovation." I almost laughed out loud - their marketing plan last quarter was full of loopholes. I could pick out eighty logical errors with my eyes closed.
That night, a thing that called itself "Text Dimensionality Reduction System" bound me. It says: The stories you write are the new rules of reality.
So I returned to my old business and wrote a novel. The protagonist was Mr. Zhang of my former company who used PPT to fool the board of directors. In order to pursue "the character's arc is authentic and believable", I arranged a hundred ways for him to die in society, and wrote in the latest chapter: "Every time Mr. Zhang made a gesture at the new product launch conference, a pig squealed from the audience."
The next day, the former company's press conference ranked No. 1 In the hot search, with the title "XXX Group CEO Transformed into a BGM Performer".
My former boss became anxious and said that he would sue me for "disrupting the order of business operations."
In court, the judge asked: "How do you prove that your novel can affect reality?"
I adjusted my glasses: "President, you can look at the punctuation marks in the second paragraph of the fifth page of the indictment. I was bored last night and helped them change it. Now if you read it again, do you find that the entire prosecution logic suddenly becomes much smoother? So smooth that you almost believe it?"
The court exploded. I won.
From then on, I realized: The biggest bug in the world is that there are too many smart people who are self-righteous. And I happen to be a paranoid person who accepts death.
Therefore, my daily job now is to turn on the computer, drink wolfberry, and use the most rigorous logic to write the most outrageous plot for the world.
