At the Guijin Expressway Project General Headquarters, Commander-in-Chief Su Chongyuan and Deputy Commander-in-Chief Zhu Jianglong made a decision to appoint Gao Qiming as the person in charge of the second part of the project, because this bidding section was the hardest nut to crack in the entire project. Gao Qiming led the builders of the second part of the project to face the difficulties of complex geology, changeable climate, inconvenient material transportation, and various entanglements with local people. The young builders dared to work hard and successfully completed the task after four years. The road is long and long, and I will explore it from top to bottom. The builders of the entire project adhere to their original aspirations, work hard, and move forward persistently, writing a new and evocative chapter in the construction history of Guijin Expressway.
I hesitated again and again, but still wanted to put the author's words at the end of this novel.
After ten o'clock every night, most people will lie in bed and get ready to sleep, but for me, my real day has just begun. At this time, I no longer belonged to anyone. I no longer belonged to my father who had been bedridden for nine years, and I no longer belonged to my mother who got angry without warning. Sometimes I even suspected that my mother was an alien from Mars. It does not belong to my daughter who is studying abroad, nor to my husband who lives in two places. It only belongs to me at this time.
At this time, I felt extremely relaxed and happy, and I could experience the feeling of being so relaxed and happy that I could fly. It's like wearing a princess's glass slipper, and I can dance to the music. The music is the percussion of my fingers on the keyboard. It is the most rhythmic and unrestrained music in the quiet night. Sometimes I even wonder, if I didn't have any social attributes and I was just me, would I live an easy, simple and happy life?
But there is no answer, because no one can live in a society without any social attributes.
For example, from when I started to think about writing this novel, to when I officially started writing it, and then when I revised the novel, I had to rest after midnight almost every day. So my time is strictly allocated. I feel like a top, but the biggest difference is that the top is whipped by a whip, while I am whipped by myself.
During this time, my mother-in-law was sick, and my husband wanted me to go to the hospital to stay with her, but I was very pressed for time, so I declined politely, but was scolded by him. He was very angry. I knew that I really wanted to visit my mother-in-law when she was sick, but I still chose to sit next to the computer. This was a helpless choice. Therefore, it is really difficult for a woman to devote herself to one thing.
The reason why I write all these things is that I have no malicious intentions. I just want to share some of my experiences in the creative process with everyone. And this idea is particularly strong. Because the experience itself is part of the novel. The novel we see is the result of countless days and nights, and what I share is the creative process, including my psychological state and thoughts at the time.
I live very authentically, and my heart is the same as my person, never hypocritical. It never occurred to me to hide myself.
I like to read "Twilight is Near" by Diane Asier. What I like most is her frankness in writing about aging, death, desire and freedom. In our real life, in addition to the two eyes on the face, everyone has another eye, which is the cat's eye. Each of us has a strong curiosity about other people's lives and other people's thoughts. It is very normal to always want to peek into other people's lives through this peephole. I am also particularly curious about the experiences of some writers when they are creating, because these experiences are very real and very touching. In fact, sometimes real life is more touching than novels.
When I wrote the first three novels, I just wrote plots and stories. When I wrote the last three novels, I began to think and empathize with the characters in the novels. When writing about Liu Gong, I portrayed him as a particularly kind-hearted engineer, a flesh-and-blood person, and a heroic figure. A real hero has no choice. At the critical moment of life and death, he would leave the chance of life to others. When I wrote about his death, I couldn't write anymore and burst into tears. Cheng Jianfei also had a huge impact on his heart because of Liu Gong's death, and he fell into self-blame and entanglement. Zhu Yuan said that what bothered him was not that he knocked off the helmet, but that they chose different directions. Cheng Jianfei finally chose to sacrifice his five fingers to exchange for the worker's hand after a worker's hand was stuck, and then he completed the salvation of his soul. At the same time, he also stayed in Yangchahe Village and stayed on that land with Liu Gong. This was a choice he made after thinking about the meaning of life.
I like to read philosophical books by Nietzsche and Schopenhauer. In their books, they advocated that life is meaningless. There are also many well-known writers who also advocated that life is meaningless. I was also thinking about it, and I was very confused at one time. When people live a lifetime, they will eventually die, and a lifetime of struggle will be in vain, so what is the meaning of life.
I came to my own conclusion while writing this novel. Life is meaningful. If we think life is meaningless, it is a denial of ourselves and a denial of human civilization. However, life has no fixed meaning, and every choice we make is meaningful. As the media through which we obtain information continue to expand, more and more voices and more and more ideas are influencing us. I am a teacher and I find that my students are affected by these thoughts as well. Think life is meaningless.
I prefer Maugham's saying that the main reason why the world progresses is that the next generation does not listen to the previous generation. In fact, there is no need for us to convey more thoughts and life insights to the next generation. We should let them realize it themselves. Let them discover the meaning of life on their own, this is what life is all about. If life is compared to reading a book and readers know the ending when they start reading, then readers will lose interest in reading and let themselves feel the beauty of love. There is no better feeling in the world than love.
I like Sanmao's poems. If there is an afterlife, I will be a tree and stand for eternity. There will be no postures of joy and sorrow. Half of it will be peaceful in the dust, and half of it will flutter in the wind...
I started writing novels twenty years ago. I stopped writing nine years ago when my father suddenly became ill and my life changed forever. Three years ago, I was forced to come to the computer and start writing novels again, because if I didn't write novels, I could no longer find an outlet for life. Literature has a magical power that can tear a gap in your life that is on the verge of despair, allowing sunlight to shine in and fresh air to penetrate.
Maybe it's hard for us to feel the power of literature. But when you can't see the light or hope, then literature will show its magical power, it is like a light shining into your life. Nothing is more powerful than literature.
Just like Mr. Lu Xun's literary works, during the New Democratic Revolution period, Mr. Lu Xun used literature to awaken hundreds of millions of Chinese people. This kind of power is silent, but sharper than bullets, more lethal and penetrating than artillery fire. This is the power of literature.
December 26th this year was a particularly important day for me. I finally bought a ticket and flew to Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia. This was my first trip in nine years.
When I left home, I found that I was eliminated by this era. I couldn't take the high-speed rail or fly. I closed myself in a small town for nine years. I was seriously out of touch with this civilized society.
When I came to the Dalit Sea, I stepped on the soft white sand and felt the warmth of the sun retained in the sand. Listening to the sound of the waves, I ran barefoot in the waves and shouted loudly. There were waves in my eyes, the taste of the sea in my mouth, and rough waves in my heart...
I walked on the beach, and the light stretched my shadow very long. At this time, I was like a stretchable piece of plasticine. Sometimes I really feel like a piece of plasticine, constantly pulling myself up with my own hands.
I went to the seaside resort hotel with my sister. She could relax and play, run, exercise, and walk. She was on vacation, and I was going through a tribulation. I split myself into three parts: one part is vacationing cautiously at the beach, one part is thinking about my novel, and the other part is thinking about my father. I still felt guilty for leaving my father at home.
During the day we went snorkeling at Mermaid Island, at night we went to the mangroves to see fireflies, and at Tanjung Aru Beach we watched the sunset. Five days later I returned to the town, and when I got home, I finally breathed a sigh of relief when I saw my old father, he was still alive.
Sometimes I have ten thousand reasons to live for myself, but when I see my old father, I have no reasons.
My life goes on again, and I look forward to the time after ten o'clock in the evening, because only then will I be free.
Maybe after reading my sharing of creative experiences, you will think that my life is suffocating, yes, it is suffocating, but I am still alive and kicking; maybe you will think that there are many conflicts between me and my family, yes, there are, but I love my family deeply.
The Chinese New Year is coming in four days, and I want to pay tribute to myself and my free soul.
2026/2/12
Writing this chapter was also the most difficult to complete. The suppressed emotions in my heart made me unable to control it, and I felt like I couldn't write anymore. When I finished writing these two chapters, I took a few days to calm down and adjust my emotions. Here we pay tribute to those road builders who sacrificed their noble lives in road construction!
When I wrote about Liu Gong's death, I couldn't continue writing for a while and burst into tears. Liu Gong was a character in my writing, but I was moved by such a character. People with noble moral character like Liu Gong can also find their shadow in our real life.
I hesitated again and again, but still wanted to put the author's words at the end of this novel. After ten o'clock every night, most people will lie in bed and get ready to sleep, but for me, my real day has just begun. At this time, I no longer belonged to anyone. I no longer belonged to my father who had been bedridden for nine years, and I no longer belonged to my mother who got angry without warning. Sometimes I even suspected that my mother was an alien from Mars. It does not belong to my daughter who is studying abroad, nor to my husband who lives in two places. It only belongs to me at this time. At this time, I felt extremely relaxed and happy, and I could experience the feeling of being so relaxed and happy that I could fly. It's like wearing a princess's glass slipper, and I can dance to the music. The music is the percussion of my fingers on the keyboard. It is the most rhythmic and unrestrained music in the quiet night. Sometimes I even wonder, if I didn't have any social attributes and I was just me, would I live an easy, simple and happy life? But there is no answer, because no one can live in a society without any social attributes. For example, from when I started to think about writing this novel, to when I officially started writing it, and then when I revised the novel, I had to rest after midnight almost every day. So my time is strictly allocated. I feel like a top, but the biggest difference is that the top is whipped by a whip, while I am whipped by myself. During this time, my mother-in-law was sick, and my husband wanted me to go to the hospital to stay with her, but I was very pressed for time, so I declined politely, but was scolded by him. He was very angry. I knew that I really wanted to visit my mother-in-law when she was sick, but I still chose to sit next to the computer. This was a helpless choice. Therefore, it is really difficult for a woman to devote herself to one thing. The reason why I write all these things is that I have no malicious intentions. I just want to share some of my experiences in the creative process with everyone. And this idea is particularly strong. Because the experience itself is part of the novel. The novel we see is the result of countless days and nights, and what I share is the creative process, including my psychological state and thoughts at the time. I live very authentically, and my heart is the same as my person, never hypocritical. It never occurred to me to hide myself. I like to read "Twilight is Near" by Diane Asier. What I like most is her frankness in writing about aging, death, desire and freedom. In our real life, in addition to the two eyes on the face, everyone has another eye, which is the cat's eye. Each of us has a strong curiosity about other people's lives and other people's thoughts. It is very normal to always want to peek into other people's lives through this peephole. I am also particularly curious about the experiences of some writers when they are creating, because these experiences are very real and very touching. In fact, sometimes real life is more touching than novels. When I wrote the first three novels, I just wrote plots and stories. When I wrote the last three novels, I began to think and empathize with the characters in the novels. When writing about Liu Gong, I portrayed him as a particularly kind-hearted engineer, a flesh-and-blood person, and a heroic figure. A real hero has no choice. At the critical moment of life and death, he would leave the chance of life to others. When I wrote about his death, I couldn't write anymore and burst into tears. Cheng Jianfei also had a huge impact on his heart because of Liu Gong's death, and he fell into self-blame and entanglement. Zhu Yuan said that what bothered him was not that he knocked off the helmet, but that they chose different directions. Cheng Jianfei finally chose to sacrifice his five fingers to exchange for the worker's hand after a worker's hand was stuck, and then he completed the salvation of his soul. At the same time, he also stayed in Yangchahe Village and stayed on that land with Liu Gong. This was a choice he made after thinking about the meaning of life. I like to read philosophical books by Nietzsche and Schopenhauer. In their books, they advocated that life is meaningless. There are also many well-known writers who also advocated that life is meaningless. I was also thinking about it, and I was very confused at one time. When people live a lifetime, they will eventually die, and a lifetime of struggle will be in vain, so what is the meaning of life. I came to my own conclusion while writing this novel. Life is meaningful. If we think life is meaningless, it is a denial of ourselves and a denial of human civilization. However, life has no fixed meaning, and every choice we make is meaningful. As the media through which we obtain information continue to expand, more and more voices and more and more ideas are influencing us. I am a teacher and I find that my students are affected by these thoughts as well. Think life is meaningless. I prefer Maugham's saying that the main reason why the world progresses is that the next generation does not listen to the previous generation. In fact, there is no need for us to convey more thoughts and life insights to the next generation. We should let them realize it themselves. Let them discover the meaning of life on their own, this is what life is all about. If life is compared to reading a book and readers know the ending when they start reading, then readers will lose interest in reading and let themselves feel the beauty of love. There is no better feeling in the world than love. I like Sanmao's poems. If there is an afterlife, I will be a tree and stand for eternity. There will be no postures of joy and sorrow. Half of it will be peaceful in the dust, and half of it will flutter in the wind... I started writing novels twenty years ago. I stopped writing nine years ago when my father suddenly became ill and my life changed forever. Three years ago, I was forced to come to the computer and start writing novels again, because if I didn't write novels, I could no longer find an outlet for life. Literature has a magical power that can tear a gap in your life that is on the verge of despair, allowing sunlight to shine in and fresh air to penetrate. Maybe it's hard for us to feel the power of literature. But when you can't see the light or hope, then literature will show its magical power, it is like a light shining into your life. Nothing is more powerful than literature. Just like Mr. Lu Xun's literary works, during the New Democratic Revolution period, Mr. Lu Xun used literature to awaken hundreds of millions of Chinese people. This kind of power is silent, but sharper than bullets, more lethal and penetrating than artillery fire. This is the power of literature.
December 26th this year was a particularly important day for me. I finally bought a ticket and flew to Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia. This was my first trip in nine years. When I left home, I found that I was eliminated by this era. I couldn't take the high-speed rail or fly. I closed myself in a small town for nine years. I was seriously out of touch with this civilized society. When I came to the Dalit Sea, I stepped on the soft white sand and felt the warmth of the sun retained in the sand. Listening to the sound of the waves, I ran barefoot in the waves and shouted loudly. There were waves in my eyes, the taste of the sea in my mouth, and rough waves in my heart... I walked on the beach, and the light stretched my shadow very long. At this time, I was like a stretchable piece of plasticine. Sometimes I really feel like a piece of plasticine, constantly pulling myself up with my own hands. I went to the seaside resort hotel with my sister. She could relax and play, run, exercise, and walk. She was on vacation, and I was going through a tribulation. I split myself into three parts: one part is vacationing cautiously at the beach, one part is thinking about my novel, and the other part is thinking about my father. I still felt guilty for leaving my father at home. During the day we went snorkeling at Mermaid Island, at night we went to the mangroves to see fireflies, and at Tanjung Aru Beach we watched the sunset. Five days later I returned to the town, and when I got home, I finally breathed a sigh of relief when I saw my old father, he was still alive. Sometimes I have ten thousand reasons to live for myself, but when I see my old father, I have no reasons. My life goes on again, and I look forward to the time after ten o'clock in the evening, because only then will I be free. Maybe after reading my sharing of creative experiences, you will think that my life is suffocating, yes, it is suffocating, but I am still alive and kicking; maybe you will think that there are many conflicts between me and my family, yes, there are, but I love my family deeply. The Chinese New Year is coming in four days, and I want to pay tribute to myself and my free soul. 2026/2/12
Writing this chapter was also the most difficult to complete. The suppressed emotions in my heart made me unable to control it, and I felt like I couldn't write anymore. When I finished writing these two chapters, I took a few days to calm down and adjust my emotions. Here we pay tribute to those road builders who sacrificed their noble lives in road construction!
When I wrote about Liu Gong's death, I couldn't continue writing for a while and burst into tears. Liu Gong was a character in my writing, but I was moved by such a character. People with noble moral character like Liu Gong can also find their shadow in our real life.