I Established the Kua Kua Cult in Naruto

What should I do if I travel to Naruto and start the game as an orphan? Urgent! Bite! The Kua Kua Education system is now open! Namikaze Minato: "The biggest lie I've ever heard in my life is Tatsuma-kun's compliment to me." Kyuubi: "I finally came out that day, but that bastard said I was the strongest tailed beast he had ever seen, and then he beat me to Kushina's... Um... Um... Belly." Uchiha Madara: "I asked him if he wanted to dance too? Then he said that my dancing skills were the best in the ninja world and that the world could no longer accommodate me. Then I was sent back to the Pure Land." Jiraiya: "Namikaze Minato is the best ninja. No ninja is good enough to compare with him. Sakamoto Tatsuma? It's a pity that he has a mouth."