Spare Me, Your Majesty! This Servant’s Back Really Hurts!

【Decisive and ruthless + living off a woman while keeping your pride + leveling up by draining blood + lighthearted comedy】 After transmigrating into the personal plaything of Empress Li Jiuyuan, Lin Xuan spends every day clutching his aching waist, feeling like he might be drained dry and die. Then one day, a drop of the empress’s blood essence saves his life and accidentally awakens the heaven-defying golden finger he’s had for three useless years: the Ritual Furnace! Absorb blood essence, refine true essence! From then on, he lives off a woman while keeping his pride, and proves his Dao through slaughter! A wicked servant blocks his path? Kill him! Drain his blood and watch his cultivation soar! His noisy uncle from the marquis’s household? Behead him! Toss his blood essence into the furnace and watch his power skyrocket! He only wanted to keep a low profile and protect his kidneys, but the empress turns around and hands him the seal of the Imperial Astronomical Bureau, ordering him to become the sharpest blade at court. Aristocratic families making things difficult? Powerful clans scheming against him? Sorry, but as this bureau director sees it, the rule is simple: kill anyone who rubs you the wrong way! The blood essence is mine, you take the blame, and the empress has my back! Your Majesty, could we discuss something... Could I get a raise? A few more pills? And those once-every-three-days “reports on official business”... Your servant’s kidneys really can’t take it anymore! This is the story of a man who rises from the bedchamber to the imperial court, grumbling as he slaughters his way through everything, and using the empress as his personal power bank along the way.