Insane! Absolutely Insane! Why Is Everyone So Crazy?

In a parallel world, everyone randomly gains supernatural abilities from the biographies, novels, anime, movies, and games they have encountered in their lifetime. Though every ability is amazing in its own way, compared to the originals, they are either severely weakened or so abstract that the world has become harder and harder to understand. My childhood friend got the “Madam, Surely You Wouldn’t Want This” ability from an action movie. It lets him peer into the secrets people least want anyone to know. My coworker got the “Six-Star Law-Abiding Citizen” ability from the sandbox game Grand Theft Auto. He can drive an old person’s mobility scooter at 180 miles per hour. My biological little sister got the “Iron Ox Does Whatever Big Brother Says” ability from a classic novel. Whenever a bad guy picks on me, my usually shy sister grabs two fire axes and transforms into a killer star. Of course, plenty of villains use their abilities to commit crimes. Some use “Seems Like It’s Getting a Little Too Urban” to carry out terrorist attacks, some use “I Alone Can Kill in Dreams” to assassinate people in their sleep, and some use “Lordaeron’s Dutiful Son” to control the undead and run smuggling operations… In this absurd world, I always thought I was one of the few normal people. Never in a million years did I expect that, when combined with my ability, I’d turn out to be the most ridiculous one of all.