NBA: All My Rivals Play in the CBA

Qin Jie transmigrates back to the NBA court in the 2006/2017 season and awakens the Opponent CBA System. Once activated, it dramatically lowers the abilities of the players he faces to CBA level. Put him up against a superstar, and they’re guaranteed to fall apart. LeBron James fumbles a lob like it’s covered in butter, then botches two sideline passes in a row, paying tribute to a Polish legend. Nowitzki grabs rebound after rebound, then misses an easy layup like Grandma Wang has logged in from another location. Howard slams the ball off the rim with a one-handed post-up dunk. He not only misses the two points, but sends the ball flying into the stratosphere. Anthony tries to go one-on-one, dribbles the ball off his own foot, and shows off his full chef skills, serving up the most disastrous performance imaginable. After monopolizing the DPOY award for years, Qin Jie can’t help but sigh: “Now that’s what you call defense that brings everyone down to the same level!”