I'm Already the Illustrious Lady He Xi, So Who Needs Romance?

Deng Wen, a history gossip blogger,

died unexpectedly and was reborn as the greatest empress in history, Deng Sui,

with the leading-lady script of a future regent ruling from behind the curtain in hand.

Looking at the young emperor, handsome enough to make the cut and sporting an eight-pack,

Deng Sui thought to herself: Too bad he's short-lived.

And so...

She retreated, and he advanced;

she kept her distance and observed propriety, while he pursued her relentlessly;

she took love lightly and urged him to share his favors equally, while he gladly fell for her and gave up his pride.

A mighty ruler became a lovesick fool.

In the middle of the night, he wrapped an arm around her waist, his eyes red as he coaxed her again and again:

Ah Sui, Ah Sui, give me a kiss.

I'll offer you my realm and make you happy. I'd gladly give you my life, too.

*

They say the wise don't fall in love. She came to the Eastern Han to build a career.

When corrupt Confucian scholars called her a hen crowing at dawn, she had them beaten to death.

When people claimed women couldn't achieve great things, she quelled famine at home and subdued the Xiongnu abroad.

She corrected the lacquered texts in the Lantai library and opened a palace school where boys and girls studied together,

gathering Cai Lun, the Sage of Paper; Xu Shen, the Sage of Characters; and Zhang Heng, the Sage of Science, together in one court.

Since Heaven has granted me a new life in Deng Sui's name,

I am destined to shoulder storms and keep the empire from collapsing.

Welcome to the Eastern Han kindergarten era,

or rather, the age when the Lady of He Xi welcomed all nations to court!