I Pick Up Trash in the Wasteland

It’s my first time playing a game, so why do good things keep happening to me? I pick up a busted gun, and it can be dismantled. I pick up a wolfdog, and it turns out to be one of a kind. I pick up a girlfriend, and who’d have thought she’d be the campus belle? I make a bunch of friends, and every last one of them is a rich kid who insists on stuffing money into my hands every day. I swear, I really don’t want to show off!

Friend: “Bro, how much for that powered armor?”

Me: “We’re friends. Why sell it? Just pick whichever one you like.”

With a clatter, I open my one and only backpack, and one piece of gleaming gold-tier gear after another spills onto the ground!

Huh, whose aircraft carrier got left lying around here? Oh well, I might as well pick it up.