Jiajing: I Just Want to Cultivate Immortality So Badly

I have trained my body to be as slender as a crane, so I need not fear palace maids choking me. I have discovered the Way, and have nothing left to say: even my son has dealings with Japanese pirates. In the 40th year of the Jiajing reign, a wisp of a cultivator's lingering soul crossed into this world, intending to possess the Ming emperor Zhu Houcong. Instead, Zhu Houcong wore it down until it died. Jiajing was first furious, then delighted. He was furious that, after cultivating the Way all his life, he had learned there were no immortals in this world. He was delighted because, although the Ming had no spiritual energy, the lingering soul's memories contained a cultivation method that drew on the thoughts of all living beings. And so the emperor who wanted most of all to become an immortal found his path. As he cultivated, Jiajing realized something was amiss. The better the people lived, the faster he cultivated; the fuller the treasury, the longer his lifespan. To cultivate immortality, Jiajing decided he first had to govern the Ming well. Then he realized: how could the Ming be governed well with this bunch of useless fools! He executed corrupt officials, redistributed farmland, strengthened border defenses, and quelled the Japanese pirate threat. At last, the Ming was thriving again. Then his cultivation stopped advancing. The thoughts of the Ming's tens of millions of people were not enough to nourish his path to immortality. Jiajing stared at the Map of All Nations on the wall and suddenly understood: All under heaven is the emperor's land. Why shouldn't they all be subjects of the Ming? And so Jiajing found the true path to immortality: not building a palace, not taking an elixir, but making the entire world bear the Zhu name. Yan Song: "Your Majesty, shall we continue building the Palace of Eternal Life?" Jiajing: "Why build a palace? I want to build the world!" Xu Jie: "Your Majesty, the court is running a deficit..." Jiajing: "Investigate! I want to see which fools are sabotaging my path to immortality!" Zhang Juzheng: "Your Majesty, I believe..." Jiajing: "Well said. You've got a bit of talent for cultivation."