No Job: He Is in Shalia, the System Says He Is in Konoha

The occurrence and resolution of conflicts are a bit inexplicable and boring The female protagonists are too effeminate and even a bit OOC, and some cute points are not written out. For example, Luo Qixi will hide on the ground and draw circles when she is hit. Before the transfer, Sylphy had super low self-esteem and could not speak in a strong tone, let alone compete with Luo Qixi The first three chapters even No popular characters from the original work have officially appeared. Brother, the fanfic you wrote also includes "Magic Pistol", "Conquering the Adventurer Team" and "Accepting Maid". These plots can be postponed or directly used as background settings like "the master-disciple relationship with Luo Qixi", or even deleted. The main character is set to be a prince. Where are his subordinates? Let them go. Do these things I also understand that this is describing the character of the protagonist, but the protagonist is like a personal computer, there is nothing to describe, or you have not even described the character of the protagonist well at all. He is like a piece of wood, with no ups and downs in emotions. The only psychological activity that I remember is to prevent Rudy from stealing the house The system of the system text It is to promote the development of the plot. At least a long-term goal should be set, "becoming Hokage" or something like that. In the article, the goal is to become the seven major powers. Earlier in the article, I still wrote "become the mayor", thinking that there was finally a main line. The method was political fighting or assassination, and then the protagonist ran away directly to find Mama Smurf, that's it? At this point, although popular characters from the original work have begun to appear, the rhythm is already a mess.

I feel like it's pretty well written. Why is there no one here?