The Crossroads on the Other Side

How should I put it... I asked you if it was a sharp review or a warm review, but you didn't reply. Then let me talk about the warm comments first: It is well written and has a very youthful feel. When Qingsi is close to me, I can feel my own heartbeat. The teacher's sternness and the laughter among the teachers are very suitable, and it is very atmospheric. Come on, it is recommended to segment. Then... Let me comment sharply: 1. Don't you know how to segment? Why are your paragraphs so long when you are clearly writing a light novel? And it's not that it can't be divided into paragraphs. Several lines of dialogue have to be squeezed into one paragraph. Can't it be divided into paragraphs? Can't? Is it tiring to have to hit Enter so many times? 2. Do you understand how to use punctuation? ,? How do such punctuation points come together? How are two sentences like """" connected together? Didn't your Chinese teacher teach you how to segment sentences? 3. Don't just write down what's on your mind, okay? You write down what he thinks and what she thinks. How should I put it? I will try to write a paragraph and you can feel it. He breathed slightly and glanced quickly to his side. What was she doing? Were you teasing me just now? Masaka! Huh? Is he peeking at me? Qingsi lowered her head to do her homework, feeling his gaze at that moment in her peripheral vision, and her heart was racing. Compare your pile of () (). 4. Pull your brain out of the plot, your writing is too self-exciting. This is purely a personal opinion, I don't like to comment casually. I would be honored if my suggestions helped you. If it affects your creative state, it is not my intention. Come on😡