Mr. Zombie Lays Low in the City

Five Rules for Zombies Surviving in the Modern World, Revised Edition:

1. Don't drink human blood unless it's an emergency!!! Not only is the risk extremely high, but its energy conversion rate is barely any better than animal blood, making it poor value for money!

2. Zombies don't have stomach acid. If social obligations mean you have to eat, remember to choose something that's easy to throw up. Don't eat anything tough, or it'll get stuck in your throat!

3. Don't assume you can skip eating beef just because you're strong. You really don't want to find out how brutal human heavy-caliber weapons can be.

4. It's best to raise your own blood supply. Watch out for blood with high fat or sugar content. It tastes bad, and zombies absorb fats and sugars poorly. You might even have to bleed it off, which is more trouble than it's worth!

5. Don't go flirting with the opposite sex. Zombies have a hard time telling lust apart from hunger. Getting someone dizzy is fine, but killing them is a problem...

Also, women bring misfortune to zombies, especially the ones who are impossibly beautiful...