1983: The Devil Godfather

How do you become a qualified president? You need to study occult rituals, so that when you lose to your political rival in the election, you can stab a little effigy and curse them to death. You need to get to know more priests and pastors. Their blessings are powerful enough to make you unstoppable at the card table. You also need to master the art of cutting up the pie. You must understand that vampire pharmaceutical conglomerates, goblin bankers, giant arms dealers, and the like are your real friends, not ordinary voters who have nothing to offer but their ballots. Last, and most importantly, you need to pay your respects to the Godfather. That way, when you run into serious trouble, you'll still have a way to beg him for help, wailing and pleading. What, you admire the Godfather's character and want to kneel down and kiss his leather shoes? Go to hell, you clueless idiot! That kind of glory is way beyond the likes of a little nobody like you!!