I Went to the Wrong Temple and Invoked the Wrong God, Now the Underworld King Won't Leave Me Alone

On the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, I went up the mountain to ask a divine fortune-teller for a reading. I entered the wrong temple and prayed to the wrong god. I accidentally brought the King of the Underworld, the God of Death, home with me. By the time I realized my mistake, I couldn’t send him away. Only later did I learn that he had waited a thousand years for me to enter the wrong temple and invite him home by mistake. How could he pass up such a perfect opportunity? He is a remote, otherworldly deity, aloof and exalted, but also a considerate, gentle, reserved, and bashful man. He keeps me utterly bewitched, day after day, until I can’t help doing things that show no respect for the divine and make him blush. Yet he indulges me again and again as I do whatever I please with him. Then I discover that the man who’s had me thinking about him all day has someone he loves... I’m done with this. So what if you have someone you love? I’m still going to sleep with you.