The Throbbing and Sinking of Secret Love

If I'm with someone I don't love, I will control all my emotions. It doesn't matter what he does. It doesn't matter whether he goes out to the bar or has a high time. I can face him calmly and gently, without any disturbance in my heart or random thoughts. But I can't do it with the person I love. I will always doubt whether he is loyal or not. Every second that he doesn't reply is painful. I will make trouble with him unreasonably. He coaxed me to use this to prove his love for me. It seems that people like me are not suitable for dating because love will arouse my possessiveness, control, suspicion, and bring out my narrow selfishness. These things will make the people who love me miserable. I am too sensitive. I know that people like me can't go far with anyone. No one will always tolerate my temper. It would be great if there was someone who would never leave me.