Tokyo: Magical Girls Crush My Dream of Going Public

It's still very appetizing after being put on the shelves. The author's acting seems to have improved a lot, or maybe these chapters themselves have been spent a lot of time on polishing. However, I would like to say that if possible, it is recommended to use less of this structure, because now that the AI ​​has used this structure badly, it is a bit easy to see.

Come on, author. This is the most enjoyable novel I have read in the past few days.

Not bad, 99% rare 😏

It's just a scam. A magical girl is nothing if she doesn't believe in love and hope.

The idea of ​​​​the opening chapter is a bit old-fashioned, like a Japanese light novel. Personally, I feel that the opening chapter lacks the novelty and interest to continue reading. It's rebirth, revenge, lover's resurrection, etc. This kind of opening coupled with the niche track of magical girls, even the novelty of having a magical girl villain as the protagonist cannot offset the boring beginning.

The protagonist of your rebirth stream takes the initiative to attack and escape from danger. How can the reader enjoy watching it? Your information is gone to the dog, and he has to leapfrog and fight monsters before he has developed. The protagonist has developed beautifully before the teacher appears. After he comes out, the academy copy is led by the nose. Someone must come to suppress the protagonist. What kind of revenge should I write if I am unhappy with revenge

A rare mature magical girl work, it must be a certain guy's vest. This kind of work is the easiest to cut. Let's wait and see.

Can you please stop updating? The writing is really ugly.

Last week, I talked about the collapse of the character image in the chapter. After saving it for a week, I came back and looked at it. I laughed to death. It was so bad that I didn't change it at all. Classic Akaashi plot. Remind new readers and those who have been reading this book for a long time, the plot behind this book is already the same as other ordinary garbage of the same genre, so you don't need to read it.

No matter how you think about it, beating up a girl with a bad personality is delicious🤤

I don't understand why every time I fight, I have to fight with all my strength to win by a narrow margin. It doesn't fit the character of the protagonist who runs a company, and it also feels too unqualified.

80 Chapters in progress Because I have tasted too many poisons, this early version is already good for the same type. It is really boring and I can't find anything good to read. It can be used as food It has obviously changed after it was put on the shelf. Especially the first ten chapters are very affecting the perception. The free chapter can only be one. After I finished talking about it, I like to split it into several chapters after it is put on the shelf, but I can still read it. The character issues mentioned in the bookmarks will be discussed later when I read them. Ordinary poisonous spots cannot make me die of poison. It is really painful to have no food and grass. If you can't find something good, you can take a look. This book is still okay for now.

I am Shennong, and this is history.

Let's talk about the advantages first. I have to say that what I wrote above is really good. The battles are very tense, the daily routine and the small ambiguities are well done. The sisters and teachers have very distinct personalities and are well established. But what is written behind it? There is daily life, ambiguity, and fighting in the front, and they are all well balanced, but what does it mean that it just sucks in the back? In the beginning, I wrote a long paragraph about saving Qingmei, and then Qingmei disappeared directly. She appeared like a clown several times and then quarreled without telling the reason, leaving readers to guess. The introduction of the parallel world is even more outrageous, especially the chapters after chapter 212. Have you read it yourself? Have you ever introduced the end of the world from the side like this and used a passerby character who has never appeared to describe it repeatedly for several chapters? Still using such a depressing writing style to pile it up? Do you know that you are one chapter a day? I clicked on it for several days in a row and made no progress, still describing how scared the guy who never appeared was. Do you think the readers are all fools? And the more I write about it, whether it's combat or daily life, my hips start to stretch.

For example, that Sky Flash, although she is not a good person, it is difficult to say that she has usurped the position of the magical girl. After all, the hostess was unconscious and semi-paralyzed at that time. Can she still transform at this time? It's hard to say. Under the condition that he is not sure whether he can be resurrected with full health after the transformation, what Tianshan did is, in a sense, the optimal solution to the current situation. So this contradiction is difficult to comment on. If you bring a locomotive out, say that the sky has transformed, and killed his parents, I think it is reasonable.

I have read Chapter 163 so far, and my impression is too bad. The plot is in the water, and you can skip it without affecting your reading. Write less plots like this. Why do a few NPCs write so many plots? What's the use of always saying how stupid and naive these people are? Is it to highlight how awesome the protagonist is? Ask for some information and push the plot quickly. What do you really expect these three people to ask? What does being stupid or naive have to do with the plot or characters? The man who was transporting coal in front of me was killed without asking any questions. I specifically picked out the younger men and asked them, "If you can't be killed with a gun, why can't you just save your life and then kill me after asking?" No wonder everyone scolded you for your poor writing. Judging from the word count, I felt that there was not much content when I saw the title. I skipped halfway through. However, the next chapter did not affect reading at all. Such a useful chapter is about where to go to investigate. Is it interesting for you to see for yourself? Readers have paid money to read your book, and you want them to read this? The readers show their sincerity to you, but you are playing tricks with the readers, right? What about the quality before being put on the shelves? What about the quality of No. 73 On the new book list? The writing style and the plot before it was released also had flaws, but at least it looked good and the flaws were not concealed. Take a look at what you have written now. Several chapters drag on and talk about one thing. If you can't do it, just go through the plot quickly and write about daily life with a few strokes. Compared with your daily writing and these plots, the writing style is not even a little bit worse. I skipped all the previous ones about fighting the five D-level wraiths, but it still didn't affect my reading. If it doesn't work, I'll switch this book to daily writing, and write less about other main plot lines, etc. Damn it's too procrastinating. I feel like it's just because of the word count. When I see the articles now on the shelves, there are basically very few paragraphs and comments, and there are even none in this chapter. There is no one left to comment. See for yourself how failed it is in writing. If I keep writing like this, I feel like it's a question of whether I can finish it. Repent!

The two employees currently appearing look like former magical girls who were beaten to death once.

It's pretty good. At present, it looks like Yueji's abnormal object containment technology superimposed on a reality-based magical girl. (Maybe there are also strange ideas about evil organizations and combatants?) The author's writing is not bad, but the tagging is quite strange. It has nothing to do with technological cultivation

This chapter completely destroyed the previous character. It was simply disgusting. This cleared up the previous resentment. Has the author been in love recently? How about replenishing your brain first?

Something is wrong, something is wrong, something is wrong. After the Faceless Man chapter involving the teacher's magical girl was released, regular plot problems began to appear. The protagonist's high IQ setting disappeared, and there were always depressing behaviors, and the plot logic was like an AI dialogue. It's like forgetting past conversations as you get older. You don't know the information you should know from the protagonist's perspective, but you know the information you shouldn't know. It's like playing an FPS game and having a plug-in perspective but not being able to do it blatantly. It's very uncomfortable to show it to readers no matter how you watch it. Is it because the author added too many more and was confused? Or did the author feed the text into AI to expand and polish it?

This doesn't look like a magical girl at all. It feels like Urban Superpower is written in the skin of a magical girl. It doesn't feel any different if you switch to a person with supernatural powers.

There is one problem. The plot after it is released is a bit unsightly. The hooks are too big and there are too many Riddlers. In addition, the update is not fast enough to reach the early stage of the Cataclysm, and it is still in the stage of gathering subordinates. At the same time, it is still being suppressed by various other forces. One of the highlights is the childhood sweetheart and Shura Chang, who is in love with the girl he subordinates. They have an inexplicable quarrel. It became invisible, which made me a little confused. I lost all my emotions, so I closed it and read another book. I didn't think of reading the plot until I saw the update today. But when I opened the book, I remembered the plot again, so I came to the comment area to post a comment 😐

Embarrassing, there is a kind of brainless beauty

I recommend a very special and interesting new magical girl book "Magical Girls Can Transform, But Cannot Be Perverted". You can give it a try~!

It's amazing. I've already ordered it after it was released. But after reading more than ten chapters, I can't stand it anymore. The gap between it and the previous one is really huge.

After pulling, the back part is too watery😅

At present, the pace of updating is a bit slow, because the world view is slowly unfolding It looks like an anti-traditional magical girl + magic technology, the main line is revenge, and there is no obvious branch line (meaning that the daily update is a branch line) The plot has not yet reached the explosive point, so the reading experience is not bad, but it is not excellent, and the writing is acceptable As for the poisonous points , I personally think it's okay, and I didn't die from poisonous poison. As a 20-year-old bookworm, I have actually practiced poison resistance for a long time 😜. This thing also depends on personal preference, so I won't go into details For the time being, it is rated as food, with a score of 70/100. The plot is okay at this stage. The motivation for catching up on updates is currently based on inertia, but the amount of daily updates is insufficient. If you forget to read this book one day, it will easily sink to the bottom.

What kind of magical girl is a magical girl if she is not pure? Can we be more original?

Ah Gan, I finished chasing and found the eunuch. My coins

Just write about revenge, and you have to create a bunch of parallel universes. I'm really convinced, but you can't control your writing style. It's better to finish writing revenge honestly, and then come back to parallel universes one by one. It's like a hodgepodge of yours. You can't even understand it. It's so funny.