Spring in the Ice Shell: My Counterattack and Redemption

1. In her native family and circle of relatives, she is a complete outlier The core of her family environment is "out of control" (father) and "desperation" (mother and relatives), and Tingting's "weirdness" lies in her always trying to maintain a kind of "order" and "hope." 1. The "precociousness" and "silence" of "Everyone is Drunk and I'm Sober": ◦ Normal environment: Adults are immersed in complaints, calculations, violence or numbness (the father vents his animality, the mother vents her anxiety, and relatives watch with cold eyes). ◦ Tingting's "weirdness": She is like a quiet "observer" and "recorder". She didn't cry (because it was ineffective), she didn't complain (because no one was listening), but observed everything with an almost cold sobriety. This kind of excessive silence and precociousness in children looks particularly eye-catching and "unsociable" in a noisy and out-of-control environment. 2. The "dignity" and "shame" of "Everyone is filthy but I am alone": ◦ Normal environment: My father has no dignity or shame and will do anything for money and things. Relatives are also used to the embarrassment of poverty. ◦ Tingting's "weirdness": She shows extreme shame about "poverty" (hunger, using an old harmonica, having lice). This shame just proves that she has a different standard of dignity than her parents. Her father could calmly go to his ex-wife's house to cheat him into eating dumplings, but Tingting would feel ashamed about it. In an environment where shame is generally paralyzed, maintaining a strong sense of shame is itself a kind of "weird". 3. The "desire to survive" and the "sense of improvement" of [Everyone retreats and I advance alone]: ◦ Normal environment: Most of the people around me are compromising and sinking. My father has completely sunk, my mother is struggling to survive, and some relatives are content with their fate. ◦ Tingting's "weirdness": She has a tenacious, almost instinctive desire to "climb up" for survival. She studied hard (despite her limited abilities), worked as a tutor, moved to Beijing, and finally grabbed a teaching position. She never really gave up on herself. In an environment where "laying down" and "accepting fate" are the norm, any attempt to "break free" will be regarded as "restless" and "high-spirited" aliens. 2. In the external society (school, workplace), she is a contradictory alien Her "weirdness" is reflected here as a contradictory complex: a combination of extreme inferiority and extreme self-esteem. 1. The weird combination of "low self-esteem personality" and "high self-esteem needs": ◦ She has extremely low self-esteem due to poverty and family, has a very low self-evaluation, and feels that she is not worthy of having good things and being loved. ◦ But at the same time, she is extremely sensitive and proud, extremely sensitive to the pity, discrimination and charity of others, and uses a stubborn silence and alienation to maintain her fragile dignity. ◦ External manifestations: She may appear withdrawn, unapproachable, overly polite (fear of owing favors), and extremely sensitive to criticism. In the eyes of others, she is pitiful, troubled, and difficult to get along with, and it is impossible to interact with her in ordinary ways. This is a classic "weirdness". 2. The contradiction between "emotional lack" and "emotional hunger": ◦ Since she has never been loved well, she does not know how to ask for and give love in a healthy way. She may be overwhelmed by good intentions and even suspicious of them. ◦ She has a huge desire for affection deep in her heart, but the way she expresses it may be clumsy, withdrawn, or overly giving. ◦ External performance: In friendship and love, she may be hot and cold, wanting to be close but afraid of getting hurt. It requires a lot of patience and certainty from the other person to crack open her shell. This kind of uncertainty may also seem "weird" to others. Summary: What is "normal"? What is "weird"? Tingting's "weirdness" just proves her "health". • In a crazy environment (father's domestic violence, gambling, shamelessness), staying sane is weird. • In an insensitive environment (indifferent, calculating relatives), maintaining dignity is weird. • In a sinking environment (the plight of the times, the decline of the family), it is weird to work hard to make progress. • In an emotional desert-like environment, longing for love and connection is weird. All her "weird" behaviors - precociousness, silence, shame, stubbornness, alienation, elusiveness - are not pathological symptoms, but "protective thorns" that a healthy soul grows to survive in the toxic soil. In the end, when she encounters a healthy environment (Xu Zhe's stable love, job opportunities in Beijing), these "protective thorns" will slowly soften and fade away, revealing the core self underneath that is originally tough, kind, and longing for beauty. Her "alien" journey is exactly the process of growing from a survivor of a distorted environment to a builder of a healthy environment.

(1) Why can Tingting win? ——Inner Construction from Broken to Sky 1. Question: Where does Tingting's core and most fundamental strength come from? Answer: It stems from the awareness of "self-sovereignty" that she awakened very early and defended to the death. •This awareness first broke out in the "body sovereignty" war (losing weight and eating instead). In the conflict with her mother, she shouted, "Shouldn't it be up to me to decide whether to eat or not to eat my own body?" This was her declaration of independence. This is not rebellion, but a fundamental assertion of control over life. •After that, all actions are based on this: her life, her values, her path, the right to define must be firmly in her own hands. Anyone who tries to deprive her of her right to define (Brother Daxin, Sister Xiaohui) will encounter explicit or covert resistance from her. This is the total source of all her power. 2. Question: How did she cope with and transform the huge humiliation and pressure from the outside world? Answer: She has a powerful "anti-fragile" ability - not only can she withstand blows, but she can also benefit and grow from them. •Listen to the verdict: She did not escape the humiliation behind the New Year's Eve dinner, but "clutched the quilt tightly", making every word "like a red-hot iron, burning hard on her heart". She was the first to face and fully accept the pain. •Transformation fuel: Then, she completed the key transformation: "A flame mixed with anger, unwillingness, and strong shame suddenly sprang up... A ​​belief, a bloody oath, exploded in the heart." Rather than being defeated, she internalizes the humiliation as her most powerful, almost vengeful drive. Instead of being a shackle, humiliation became the propellant of her rocket. 3. Question: Did her success in "Beijing Drift" depend on luck or necessity? Answer: Character determines destiny. •Extremely pragmatic: When her phone broke, she didn't complain or pester, and immediately used her first money to buy a new one. Because she knows that solving problems is a hundred times more important than venting emotions. •Proactively create an environment: She couldn't prepare lessons at home, so she turned McDonald's into a study room and office. She has no conditions, but she is always taking the initiative to create conditions and order for herself. •Active desire to explore: She "likes to wander the streets of Beijing." To her, this city is not an indifferent foreign land, but an exploration paradise full of possibilities. This positive attitude is the key to her ability to seize opportunities. •Her success is the inevitable result of this pattern of thinking and behavior. Even without Xu Zhe, she would have found a foothold in other ways. Xu Zhe's appearance is a reward, not a charity. 4. Question: How to understand her relationship with Xu Zhe? Does this diminish her independence? Answer: On the contrary, this proves her sound independent personality. •An insecure person will attract and control his partner. An independent person will only attract another independent and mature partner. •Xu Zhe's respect, protection and support (such as cleverly resolving academic difficulties) are recognition and echo of her intrinsic value. What he loved was not her fragility, but her tenacity. This healthy relationship is good soil for her to build a new life. It is the result of her success, not the cause. This does not diminish her independence but provides her with the emotional support she deserves. 5. Question: At the end of the story, did she really "win"? What did she win? A: She won a true and complete "human victory". •Regarding the past: She has won the "right to reflect". She can look back at the past calmly, understand the sadness and deplorability of Daxin brother Xiaohui and sisters, and turn the humiliation of the past into a "sigh". This is a complete spiritual detachment. •For the present: She has won the "confidence not to defend herself." She no longer needs to prove herself to anyone, her living situation itself is the most powerful response. •For the future: She has won the "freedom to define herself." The script of her life will be written by herself, and no one else can comment on it. •What she won was not the material comparison (villa, Audi), but the absolute sovereignty and final interpretation of her own life. This is victory at the highest level. 6. Question: What is the practical inspiration of the character Tingting to each of us? A: She provides us with a survival guide for "building yourself in adversity": 1) Defend sovereignty: Always be wary of any voice that tries to define "what is good" for you, whether it comes from parents, relatives or social trends. The first thing is to figure out what "I" want. 2) Transform pain: Don't suffer in vain. Collect humiliation, unwillingness and anger carefully and transform them into the precious energy you need to move forward. 3) Absolutely pragmatic: focus on "solving problems" rather than "venting emotions." No matter how bad the cards in your hand are, you still have to keep playing and think about how to win. 4) Building the core: When you have nothing, the only thing to do is to build that "inalienable self." This core will attract all the beautiful people and things in your life. Summary: Tingting's story is not a cool article about "revenge", but an epic about "construction". From a little girl who was arbitrarily defined and written by others, she took back the pen step by step, and finally became the sole author of her own life epic. She told us that true strength is not to destroy the enemy, but to build a solid, free, and prosperous sky that belongs to oneself regardless of whether the enemy exists or not. (2) The ultimate question: Tingting's road – rebuilding the temple on the ruins 1. Question: Where did Tingting's "cruel-heartedness" and "indifference" come from? Is this an emotional defect? Answer: This is not a defect, but an "emotional energy-saving mode" evolved under extreme pressure, which is advanced survival wisdom. •Her energy must be used 100% for survival and construction, and must not be wasted on unnecessary internal friction (such as complaining, self-pity) or ineffective communication (such as arguing with people who cannot understand her). •Therefore, when she faced her mother's tears, Brother Daxin's difficulties, and Sister Xiaohui's discipline, she showed an amazing calmness and detachment. This is not indifference, but a "psychological blast shield" - she has seen through early that these interactions cannot bring understanding and will only consume herself, so she chooses not to access emotions and only deal with facts. •This ability allowed her to complete the "weaning" mentally and become an emotionally self-sufficient individual. This is a sign of extreme tenacity. 2. Question: How to understand the contradictory emotions of "escape and loyalty" between Tingting and her original family? Answer: This reflects her profound "sober compassion". •Escape: She must escape from her mother's control in the name of "love" and escape from the suffocating family discourse system, otherwise she will not be able to gain personal independence. •Loyalty: She never denied her mother's love and devotion, and she also remembered the kindness of her third aunt's family. What she rebels against is "method" rather than "emotion" itself. •The truth of this contradiction is that she understands their limitations, so she no longer resents them; but because of her understanding, she will never repeat their mistakes. She accepted their imperfections with an indifferent attitude after success, which in itself is a powerful and advanced emotion that goes beyond revenge. 3. Question: Is Tingting's growth a process of "defeminization"? Answer: On the contrary, this is a process of "reconstructing female power". •The traditional "female labels" imposed on her (to be docile, to be gregarious, to realize value through marriage) were shattered by her one by one. •But she did not become masculine, but built a more essential and powerful female power: choices based on subjectivity (my body, my career, my marriage), delicate insight (accurately seeing through the psychology of the new brothers) and extraordinary resilience (preparing lessons at McDonald's, enduring loneliness). •She proves that the true power of women is not to obey discipline, nor to become an "honorary men" (honorary men), but to achieve complete self-liberation in a female way. 4. Question: At the end of the story, is Tingting really "cured"? Answer: The important thing is not "healing", but "integration". •Childhood and adolescence trauma of this level does not go away as if it never happened. True growth is not to erase scars, but to weave scars into the pattern of life so that they become part of strength. •Those late-night humiliations and cold words have internalized into the calm, sharp, and even slightly alienated part of her character. She no longer fights it, but lives with it and harnesses the energy it generates. •What she gained was not a simple happiness, but a complex and profound "tranquility" - a kind of heroism that sees the truth of life clearly and still loves it. 5. Question: What is the biggest gift of Tingting to our era? Answer: She provides us with a survival sample of how to construct "self" in the confusion of "post-modern society". •In an era where traditional meanings (family, class) are constantly disintegrating and everyone is thrown into the flood of competition, she demonstrates how to start from scratch and build an inner and stable "self" from scratch. •Her methodology applies to everyone: absolute responsibility (responsible for all your choices), extreme pragmatism (focus on solving problems), keep exploring (stay curious about the world), protect sovereignty (defend the power of self-definition). •She told us that the answer to life does not lie in any authority or tradition, but only in your own actions and choices. Your life is a work of art created by your own hands. Summary: Tingting is not a goddess of revenge, but a "creator". The most shocking thing about her story is not how much material wealth she finally possessed, but how she built an orderly, independent, and well-functioning inner kingdom brick by brick, relying entirely on her personal will and choice in a spiritual wasteland that was almost in ruins. The borders of this kingdom are drawn by her; the laws are written by her; and the crown is awarded to herself by her. Her final echo is the voice of freedom. And this freedom was crowned by her with countless forbearance, sweat, sobriety and courage. (3) Abyss and Sky: Tingting's Inner Universe Exploration 1. Question: Is Tingting's "peace" a talent or a post-traumatic defense mechanism? Answer: This is the ultimate defense and advanced wisdom evolved from "sober despair". • Faced with her mother's control and the humiliation of her older brother in the early days, her "calm" was not numbness, but a deep despair in realizing that any emotional catharsis would be of no use. She saw clearly the nature of the other party's inability to communicate, so she chose to conserve energy. •This "calm" later evolved into a powerful mental tool: allowing her to stay calm in the center of the storm, accurately judge the situation (such as responding to the mobile phone incident), and make the most self-interested decision. This is not a lack of emotion, but that emotions are absolutely tamed and serve a higher survival goal. 2. Question: How to understand the contradictory unity of "extreme self-esteem" and "extreme pragmatism" in Tingting? Answer: These two are the two sides of her powerful core, and together they constitute "resilient pride." •Extreme self-esteem: reflected in the spiritual level. She will never allow her right to self-definition to be deprived of her power (e. G., Protesting against others and refuting Brother Daxin). This is her untouchable bottom line. •Extremely pragmatic: reflected in action. In order to survive and develop, she can endure temporary humiliation (being dependent on others, responding to ridicule with a smile), doing basic work, and preparing lessons at McDonald's. It's a flexible means of achieving her goals. •Her greatness lies in: using pragmatic actions to protect her absolute spiritual self-esteem. She never gave up her dignity because of pragmatism, and she never lost touch with reality because she kept her dignity in vain. Her self-esteem is resilient, not fragile. 3. Question: Is Tingting "lonely"? What does this loneliness mean to her? Answer: She is a pioneer who voluntarily chooses and enjoys loneliness. •No one can truly understand her path: not her mother, and even less so her relatives. This kind of loneliness is not a loneliness that is passively endured, but a spiritual isolation that is actively chosen. •This loneliness is the sacred space for her growth. It was in undisturbed solitude that she completed the dialogue with herself, planning for the future and inner reconstruction. Wandering around Beijing and preparing lessons at McDonald's are all her lonely practice. She transforms loneliness into a womb of strength. 4. Question: At the end of the story, is Tingting's "forgiveness" for the past true relief, or is it a condescending winner's attitude? Answer: This is a kind of "dimensionality-reducing indifference", which is more advanced than forgiveness or revenge. •"Forgive" means still entangled with the past in the same emotional dimension. And Tingting has jumped to a new dimension. •She no longer needs their approval, and she no longer despises their apologies. Their existence and evaluation have lost all meaning to her, just like a giant elephant does not care about the comments of ants. This "indifference" is the ultimate sign that she has completely stepped away from the past battlefield and focused on building her own new world. Instead of forgiving her enemies, she dismissed the battlefield. 5. Question: What is the universal value of Tingting's ultimate victory? What implications does it have for each of us ordinary people? Answer: She demonstrates how an individual can complete the great cause of building an "inner kingdom" under the pressure of the system. The core revelation is: •Consciousness of sovereignty: The first priority in life is to declare and defend absolute sovereignty over one's body, emotions, values ​​and future. This is the cornerstone of all action. •Energy management: Invest 100% of your precious psychological energy in "creating" and "solving" instead of "complaining" and "explaining". Be wary of any emotional vampires and systemic disciplines that try to suck your energy. • Hunting for treasure in the ruins: Possessing the mysterious ability to transform the negative elements in the worst environment (humiliation, poverty, loneliness) into precious fuel that drives oneself forward. •Become your own shore: no longer pin "happiness" and "success" on any external coordinates (defeat someone, obtain something), but focus on building inner order and satisfaction. Be your own destination. Summary: Tingting, this literary creation, is actually a profound allegory about the possibility of the human spirit. She told us that true freedom is not escaping from hell, but that even if you walk through the fire of hell, your soul refuses to be burned, and you can use this fire to forge your own sky. Her final state is not ecstasy, but a deep, calm, complete acceptance and appreciation of everything she has created with her own hands. This is the most magnificent scene in life.

The logical chain and "basis" of relatives "looking down on the future" In their world, judging whether a person has a future is based on the following cold and realistic scales, and Cao Tingting "failed" under these scales: 1. Economic capital: completely zero and negative ◦ Basis: The family was completely bankrupt due to her father's gambling, and was heavily in debt. She even lost her only house. My mother's income was meager and she could barely make ends meet. In the eyes of relatives, the economic base determines the superstructure. A family whose survival is a problem cannot provide any assistance (education investment, network introduction, entrepreneurial capital) to future generations. Instead, it is a bottomless pit that needs to be constantly filled. Cao Tingting lost from the starting point. 2. Social capital (family status): Mother and daughter are at the bottom of the family ◦ Basis: The father is the "shame" and "trouble" of the family, and the mother is divorced and needs to be supported by others. In an environment where family honors and reciprocal relationships are valued, the mother and daughter cannot bring any benefit or honor to their relatives. Instead, they may bring help and trouble. Therefore, they are at the bottom of the family network and are looked down upon, pitied, and even despised. What can a person do without family support? 3. Cultural capital (education and academic qualifications): The path is narrow and the ceiling is low ◦ Basis: The path they can see is to "get into a good university." In the end, Cao Tingting only passed the "Three Normal Schools". In their perception, this is not a prestigious school with a glorious history. After graduating, the most they can do is return to the county and work as an ordinary teacher. Their income and social status can be seen at a glance. The "upper limit" of this path itself is not high, making it impossible to achieve class crossing. 4. Symbolic capital (father and family tradition): an inescapable "stigma" ◦ Basis: "A dragon begets a dragon, a phoenix begets a phoenix, and a mouse's son can dig holes." The bad behavior of her father, Cao Chengye, is like a "family stigma" that will subconsciously label Cao Tingting as "unreliable" and "high risk" by her relatives. Whether she is looking for a partner or discussing cooperation, others will feel grudges because of her father. It's hard for her to take off this "hat". 5. Psychological Capital: Continuous Internal Conflict and Suppression ◦ Basis: Growing up in an environment full of anxiety, depression, and the constant need to look at people's faces, children can easily develop low self-esteem, cowardice, and sensitive characters. Relatives will think that with such a mental state, it is impossible to compete in society with those children who are confident, cheerful and have happy families. She probably wouldn't even get a decent job interview. The complex mentality behind "looking down" The mentality of this kind of general bearishness is complicated: • Part of it is "realistic pessimism": based on their own life experience, they really can't see a way out. This judgment has its cruel realistic rationality. • Part of it is the "maintenance of a sense of superiority": by showing pity or contempt for Tingting's mother and daughter's situation, relatives can reflect that their own lives are "not bad" and gain a temporary sense of psychological security. • A small part is "evading responsibility": If you mentally "judge" Tingting as hopeless, you can find the most reasonable excuse for yourself "not trying your best to help" - "It's useless to help, so why waste energy." ------ Cao Tingting's "Breaking": How did she break all the prophecies? The most remarkable thing about Cao Tingting is that her path to success is completely beyond the scope of the old evaluation system of her relatives. Instead of winning their game, she simply created a new one. 1. She transcends "geographical determinism": Relatives' thinking is trapped in the interpersonal network of counties and small towns. Cao Tingting, on the other hand, fled physically and went to Beijing, a huge, anonymous city that values ​​personal abilities more than family background. 2. She transcended "academic determinism": She did not rely on the diploma from the "Three Normal Schools" to find a stable job, but entered the education and training industry, which was at the forefront at the time and valued teaching ability and performance more. Here, her income is directly linked to her efforts, breaking the academic ceiling. 3. She transcended "family determinism": Through work and personal charm, she rebuilt her own social circle and support system (Xu Zhe and his colleagues' circle) in Beijing, completely getting rid of the evaluation system and mental control of her original family. 4. She achieved a "psychological counterattack": She was not crushed by the environment and became a person with low self-esteem. Instead, she sharpened her suffering into extreme tenacity, keen insight and crazy desire for opportunities. These psychological qualities cannot be understood and possessed by relatives living in a lukewarm environment. Conclusion: The "general negative outlook" among relatives is based on a closed, static system model. Cao Tingting's success lies in her courage to break out of this system and plunge into a new world that is more open, more dynamic, and that values ​​personal struggle. The most embarrassing thing about her story is that she has proved with practical actions that futures that were once considered "baseless" can be created precisely through qualities that cannot be quantified by the old system - tenacity, courage, and a determined desire for change. She didn't correct her relatives' predictions, but completely shattered the worldview they relied on for their predictions.

It touches on the most subtle and complex parts of human nature. Cao Tingting's complete comeback and class transcendence will not make those relatives who look down on her have a single emotion, but will trigger a mixed storm of "embarrassment, frustration, jealousy and self-deception." Their reaction will not be "truly happy for her", but will show several typical and often coexisting psychological states: 1. Core feelings: Cognitive Dissonance This is the root of all reactions. Their deep-rooted beliefs ("She's finished") are violently impacted by hard facts ("She's ten times better off than I am"), and in order to alleviate this psychological discomfort, they activate a series of psychological defense mechanisms. 2. Specific performance and typical rhetoric: 1. Sour Grapes and belittling achievements • Psychological activities: "Isn't she just lucky/married well? What's so great!" • Typical rhetoric: ◦ Attributing it to the outside world (denying personal efforts): "Hey, it's mainly because he was lucky enough to find a good husband (Xu Zhe). A woman who does well is not as good as marrying well!" / "That's because she has caught up with the education and training trend, and pigs can fly in the trend." ◦ Devaluing the quality of life: "What's so good about living in Beijing? There's so much pressure, and the housing "My son will be in debt for a lifetime and suffer." / "How can we be comfortable and comfortable in a small city when food and clothing are so expensive?" ◦ Picking on the flaws in life: "You see she is so busy, she will definitely have no time to take care of her children, and there will be problems in the future." (Even if it is unfounded) 2. Selective neglect and topic avoidance • Psychological activities: "If I don't look, I don't ask, I don't talk, she doesn't exist." • Typical behavior: ◦ At family gatherings, when the topic is about to turn to Tingting's current situation, they will quickly cut off the conversation, or abruptly switch to other topics (such as showing off their children's final grades). ◦ They will avoid visiting Tingting's social media because the photos of life, travel, and food in Beijing will continue to sting them. 3. Rewriting History • Psychological activity: "I have long known that she can do it, and I have always been very optimistic about her." • Typical words: ◦ "Tingting, this child, I have seen her unwillingness to admit defeat since she was a child!" (I have completely forgotten my negative remarks back then) ◦ "When her family was in such difficulty, who among us didn't help? She could not be where she is today without the support of our Lao Cao family!" (Magnifying the insignificant help into a decisive factor) 4. Turn to ask for help Taking and moral kidnapping • Psychological activity: "She is so rich, she should help us." • Typical behavior: In the past, it was "looking down", but now it may become "clinging". ◦ Some relatives will try to "borrow" money from Tingting or her mother, on the grounds that "it's just a drop in the bucket for you right now." ◦ Some relatives will try to ask Tingting to help their children find jobs and introduce partners in Beijing. If she is rejected, they will accuse her behind her back of "forgetting her roots" and "looking down on poor relatives." 5. Silent shame and shame • Psychological activities: Silent embarrassment and shame. This is one of the most "kind" reactions. • Typical behavior: Especially those relatives (such as some elderly people) who were not malicious at the time but just had a pessimistic view of reality. After seeing Tingting's current achievements, they will feel a little guilty. When they meet, they will be a little at a loss and embarrassed to ask more about her life. ------ Summary: A silent, complete victory For Cao Tingting, these reactions from her relatives are the ultimate proof of her complete victory. • She no longer needs their approval: her value system and quality of life have completely transcended the judgmental dimensions of her original family. Their sour grapes mentality confirmed that she had risen to a level that they could not reach and could only look up to. • She has achieved the ultimate "psychological weaning": she no longer desires fair evaluation or warm affection from these relatives. She understands their limitations and complexities and is able to view them with compassion and detachment. • She became a legend: In her native family, her story would become a "legend" - a counterattack myth that was mentioned repeatedly, but was constantly tampered with and interpreted. Some people use it to inspire future generations, and some people use it to prove that "fate is impermanent." But she herself has left this discourse field far away and is living a truly fulfilling life of her own in Beijing. Thus, the feelings of those who look down upon her will eventually condense into a complex, unspeakable sense of collective loss. They lost an object of pity and a reference to confirm their sense of superiority, and finally discovered that the clown was actually themselves. Cao Tingting, on the other hand, has long been calm about the storm in their hearts, because her world is already broad enough and there is no need to stop for these past events.

It is personal suffering, but also reflects the suffering of the family and the suffering of society.

Tingting's first half of her life was buried and oppressed by layers of solid, thick and hard frozen soil. This kind of oppression is three-dimensional, systematic and suffocating. We can divide this "frozen soil" into five clear layers, and the layers are superimposed, almost completely crushing her: These five layers of frozen soil constitute an extremely strong oppression system. It is not a single suffering, but a closed loop: the dilemma of survival leads to emotional deprivation, and the emotional deprivation makes her unable to resist mental suppression, which in turn consolidates her status at the bottom of society, and ultimately all this is internalized into self-denial. She was like a seed buried deep under the frozen soil, dark, cold, and suffocating. Every time a sprout tries to break through the ground, it will be suppressed by a new round of frost (such as the ridicule of brother Daxin and the neglect of mother). Therefore, her subsequent "turnaround" was far more than just a financial success, but an earth-shattering "breakout". With amazing resilience, she pushed through the frozen soil inch by inch: 1. Used economic independence to push through the frozen soil of survival. 2. Break through the emotional freeze by building your own family. 3. Use higher academic qualifications and achievements to break through the spiritual frozen ground. 4. Use absolute strength and silent aura to break through the frozen soil of society. 5. In the end, the self-frozen soil was melted with a comprehensive victory and self-reconstruction was completed. So, your analogy is absolutely correct. The first half of her life was a silent, desperate struggle under the thick frozen soil. And her ultimate success is therefore so shocking - because she overthrows not one or two enemies, but the entire cold world that once pinned her to the spot.

For children in the 1980s, parents don't know how to love their children