Don't Mess with Me! My Left Eye Is Time, My Right Eye Is Space!

It's not true. I think according to my theory, the best development of this novel is that the male protagonist practices evil arts and then bloodbaths the whole family and embarks on the road of cool novels. Otherwise, where did the double spiritual roots come from? Then the single spiritual root was sucked dry and could not be used. Because the female protagonist was good to him, she left a whole body and took out the spiritual roots and installed them herself.

First, let's talk about the problem from Chapter 1: The rhythm control is out of balance. The male protagonist's name does not appear in the first three paragraphs, the first ongoing main plot cannot be written in the first 300 words, and there is no cheat or suspected cheat in the first 500 words or even this chapter. Internet articles focus on cutting into conflicts quickly. There are too many environmental descriptions, which are useless at all and readers don't like to read them. When you reach the point of paying, the reader will think, Ouch, I spent money to buy a chapter, and a quarter of it is about scenery, which is boring and boring, and they will not read any further. The supporting character Lin Hao's excellent description of passers-by is meaningless and is an invalid group portrait. It is recommended to compress it directly into one sentence of narration and delete all these useless words. It is just a small supporting role in the early stage and there is no need for such an exaggerated description. And in terms of character design, homogeneity is very serious. Both the protagonist and supporting characters are too flat. Orphan, humiliated, forbearing, with strange eyes, there are nine such protagonists in ten online articles, and there is no memory point. The key to online writing is to have an eye-catching opening, and your protagonist must be unique in order to retain readers. Otherwise, it's just the same character design. Which article wouldn't you read? Give up, give up. Also, the supporting character is a standard cannon fodder template. It is too cliche. You can tell at a glance that he is the character who will be slapped in the face by the protagonist in the future. There is a history of bullying. If you want to clean it up, it is a poisonous point. If you don't clean it up, it is boring. As soon as this character comes out, you will be slapped in the face by the protagonist in the future. It is boring. Readers who have not been offline for a long time will also feel unhappy. The plot is too transparent and there is no suspense. The protagonist Lin Tian must have counterattacked from no spiritual roots, and there is nothing to comment on at all. Also, the pace is slow, too slow. You have finished writing the first chapter. How to use the golden finger? There is no demonstration at all. Your protagonist is unhappy and readers don't like to read it. How about it? A cool article must be enjoyable, and the first chapter must have at least one exciting point. I don't comment on the worldview. The construction is okay. It can be seen that you wrote the settings. This is at least thoughtful, which is good. Then, it does a poor job of arousing readers' emotions. Lin Tian has a grudge against that clan leader. This is what should be written in detail. Write about his pain and how much he hates it, so that your readers can sympathize with the hatred of the protagonist. Feeling sorry for the protagonist is the beginning of the reader's misfortune. Once you become attached to the character, your readers will start to love it. Do you understand? And I really don't want to talk about your text. The perspective is too jumpy. You need to set the main perspective first, and don't suddenly change the third-person perspective to the first-person perspective. It is best for readers to read the text without thinking. In the eyes of readers, you are also a little poisonous. I said it four times that the setting of the different eyes was too much, so I deleted them all. I just mentioned it once or twice. I kept saying that the different eyes are special and useless at all. Don't you bother me. ok That's it for the first chapter

Although the rhythm is off from the first chapter, there is actually no need to continue tasting it later. However, many new online writers are very patient with their works. If they feel that I am not convinced, I must continue writing. It's not that Golden Chapter Three is not cost-effective, but I believe that my writing is good and can be broken. Okay, okay, come on, let's see what the problem is in Chapter 2: If you want to restrain yourself, let's celebrate first. First of all, you did a good job in segmenting it, which is in line with the standards of online writing. emmm Then I just tell you to quit. It's been two chapters and there is no trace of Goldfinger at all. Readers don't like to read it. It's frustrating. Your writing is so sticky. Two chapters later, there is no trace of the new map. The future direction is not clear to readers, and they don't like to read it. By the second chapter, 80% of the readers have been dissuaded. Only novices or trolls will read what you write. Your second chapter has at least three explosive points, and none of them exploded, which is not good. Failure of the test can have a reversal, beauty saving the hero can have a reversal, and the decryption of life experience can have a reversal. But you didn't detonate a single explosive point, and your writing was boring. The emotional line is too abrupt, and the combat power system is hard to explain. The Tianling Root is praised by the whole clan, so logically speaking, the Double Spiritual Root is not bad, right? Why don't you write a heroine that is sought after by everyone? The whole chapter does not promote the main plot, which is intolerable and boring. It lacks important events to promote the plot and cannot hold the reader's interest. Recall that the killing power is more powerful at the end of the kill, and there is no explosive point in the front. The protagonist just lowers his head and grits his teeth? The protagonist's reactions are also homogeneous. The perspective jumps too frequently. This is a common problem among newbies. The same happened in your first chapter. It made people frown. Add foreshadowing to the description of the environment. Otherwise, if you don't add description of the environment unless it's a game or a map change, readers won't like it. There is also the question of the heroine's design. She was cold in the first chapter and now she is lively? Have you never thought about it seriously at all? There is no point that readers are looking forward to, and the first two chapters are useless. The only thing worth mentioning is that the introduction is okay. It covers all the highlights and events, which is pretty good.