I'm a High School Sophomore, and You Want Me to Pretend to Cultivate Immortality?

【In Dao Year Three, you are reborn, back in the very year you successfully transmigrated】 【In your previous life, you ascended to the Heavenly Emperor realm and ruled supreme for all eternity. But after your Dao companion divorced you and took half your cultivation, misfortune revived within you, red fur spread across your body, and you fell】 【Living a second life, you swear to make up for your regrets, nip every threat in the bud, and rule the world once more】 I'm just a high school student! My transmigration failed, so why have you given me a reborn cultivation System? 【Step One: Ask your childhood sweetheart, before your relationship falls apart, for a Black Gold Elixir and begin your path of cultivation】 All right, all right, you call a pretty girl's “imported” chocolate a Black Gold Elixir? Don't move, let me gobble it up! 【Rekindle your relationship with the demonic sect enchantress you met on your travels and obtain the movement-boosting artifact “Cloudstep”】 What? You want me to get the new girl sitting beside me to give me the little white cotton sock she just pulled off the clothesline? 【Run into your Dao companion from your previous life and make her fall to the dark side】 Fall to the dark side? That's clearly just me kindly reforming her! And when I sit down to debate and eagerly spar with the sect disciples, it turns out we're arguing about whether tofu pudding should be sweet or savory and competing to see who can throw chalk most accurately... First, let me make one thing clear: I'm really not a pervert. The childhood sweetheart who is a saintess, the demonic sect enchantress, the aloof immortal maiden, and even my Dao companion from my previous life are all stepping out of the world of cultivation and into reality. Shen Nian realizes with a start: this System has really put me through the wringer!